So many unknowns
Well, lately I have been having the worst mood swings of my life. I can't seem to stabilize myself even with the help of meds (Prozac). Its hard to do the simplest things. At some times, I feel detached and numb from the people in my life. Other times, I am crying over the stupidest things and getting so mad at everyone. I literally cried this morning because my DH didn't want to walk up to 711 to get me a pop tart. STUPID!! Add to that the fact that I am starting school tomorrow and I am scared out of my mind. The school I am attending is small and disorganized and I have already had an altercation with an advisor there. This is not usual for me at all, I am usually the type to smile and nod. I hate starting out on a bad foot. Then, there comes the financial situation. My DH is working 12 hour nights 4-5 days per week so whether he works or not, he sleeps all day. This has caused many, many fights and my attitude is not helping things. We need to have $4000 saved by Sept 10 for the upcoming vas reversal. I cannot seem to quit smoking. I will start the day out with good intentions, but they don't last long. I know I need to stop ASAP but its really hard! I would hate if this disgusting habit prevents me from getting prego. I am already panicking about starting TTC. I read in the infertility forum of these women, and I don't know if I can be that strong. I am scared silly to be the problem in our fertility issues. "No one can give me any answers because "everyone is different" but here are my rhetorical (sp?) questionsWill I do well in school and prove to everyone that I can do it?Will DH reversal be a success?Will I get prego this year? Who knows.......
Replies
I\'m sorry you\'re having a hard time right now. I know all the what ifs can drive you crazy if you let them. The main thing I\'ve learned through everything I\'ve been through is to take one day at a time and to remember the positives in your life. I hope you feel better soon!
Congrats on starting school. That is really hard to juggle. I think you will do just fine and more importantly, prove to YOURSELF that you can do it. Trying to predict the future is really stressful. Just try to take it one day at a time. I wish you and DH all the luck with the reversal and the ttc. I smoked for 13 years about 1 1/2 packs per day. I quit almost 2 years ago. I will admit that it was hard but not nearly as hard as you think. The first two weeks are the hardest, just set a goal to make it that far. Little steps. I went cold turkey this time but I did have some success with the patch before. Just hang in there and know that we are here for you if you need us.
With all of that change, no wonder you are a little more moody. I am sure you will do great in school, it can be a little stressful when there are life altering changes like these.
Just a thought, but if the Prozac isn\'t doing it for you, have you thought about Welbutrin. I only mention this because one of the (wonderful) side effects is that people stop smoking.
You can do anything you put your mind to, whether it be school, getting through a stressful time, or quitting smoking! We are here to cheer you on every long and tiresome step of the way.