So I realized something today
I knew this before but today more so than anything. I'm really going to have to eat like this the rest of my life. It's really okay because I love the food that I am eating. I feel like I have done so much better these last six months than I ever thought possible. It just makes me really look forward to the rest of my life with positive healthy change. I really believe I can do this. And how much better I will feel when I do finally get the weight off. I put makeup on today. I styled my hair. Put my foo-foo creams on and felt so pretty. I've even stopped chewing my nails because I want to be able to grow them out. Painted them pretty colors. Now some women do this all the time. Me because of feeling less then (except when I was younger) I just never took the time. I've always been told I was pretty. I'm starting to believe it. I've been through so much in my life that would make me want to give up but I keep moving forward because I believe tomorrow can be a better day than today. And that we can always have second chances in our lives. I really want to do more with my life than just be home on the computer. I feel I have such a great testimony of God's healing grace. Although I'm not really where I want to be as far as the healing, I'm trusting that God will take me there. I so believe that detours are meant to get us in the right direction. Looking forward to positive change!
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What a positive influence you have through your honest writing. It feels so good when we FEEL, not just try to believe but really feel that we are on a better path for the day. Yesterday I read in a chicken soul for the soul quote that \"today is eternity\'s seed, and we are its gardener.\" It made me think that today, I want to get up and not just wait for what happens to me today, but for me to plant the seed of my garden today. All gardens are not ornate and multi-colored. Some are just grasses and and an occasional wildflower or tree, but even the simple gardens are peaceful and make me smile. So, even though my \"garden\" today looks like cleaning out my fridge, changing sheets, making dinner for my family and getting on that treadmill, and doing a short loving meditation and enjoying my home, my family and my pets, it looks like a day of taking that seed from eternity and making a good garden out of my day. It makes me FEEL like I am using the gift of my life today for being headed in a better direction.
About the nails, I used to bite my finger nails, rip my toe nails and pick at scabs and pimples all the time. It was a form of self-hurting and destruction hiding in a nervous habit. I did this things since I was 2 or 3 years old. I realized, no one ever trimmed my nails as a child to show me an option, or put salve on my scabs to soothe them. So now, I am trying to be a parent to myself by taking time to trim my nails, soften my cuticles, overall, treat myself to better simple grooming. It is different to learn how to properly take care of myself. It also feels good. Thank you for sharing and reminding me to be grateful for each little progress!