So here's one scar...this is probably the worst one
So, I think I said last night that I wanted to post about some of my really bad memories in my journal while I work on sorting out where I need help the most. These have stayed with me far too badly, so please, if you want to grill me about them via Meebo, do so...any little bit will help.
Personally speaking for me, no episode did more damage or made me want to hide more than than when my high school was smoke-bombed in 1994. I could give you every detail but only a few of them really matter:
* It happened during my C block class, and my first impression was that it was just a routine fire drill. They did happen a couple of times a year. It didn't dawn on my initially that if it had been a fire drill it woud have been announced beforehand...this one wasn't.
* I had a feeling something was up when we were herded into the resource center that connected the middle and high schools at that time (both buildings have since been overhauled, and the connecting resource center is no longer there). Rumors started to spread that we'd be released early.
* I remember being scared out of my wits when we were released early via the middle school cafeteria. I asked for an escort so I could at least try to do what little homework had been assigned up to that point (it was later pushed back).
Which led to the moment that so far has scarred me for life: I was granted the escort -- the principles knew immediately I wasn't behind this -- and I was escorted back to my locker, I saw the device that had detonated. It was still smoking and it had left a huge burn mark on the wall, still lying exactly where it went off.
I don't think I have to say much else. My dad left work for a few minutes to make sure I got home safely and he found a nervous wreck when he arrived (me). One of my brothers was jealous because he was in the middle school and I was like, "You think I wanted this to happen?!?"
I think I've said enough about this...I'll be back tonight, I guess.
Personally speaking for me, no episode did more damage or made me want to hide more than than when my high school was smoke-bombed in 1994. I could give you every detail but only a few of them really matter:
* It happened during my C block class, and my first impression was that it was just a routine fire drill. They did happen a couple of times a year. It didn't dawn on my initially that if it had been a fire drill it woud have been announced beforehand...this one wasn't.
* I had a feeling something was up when we were herded into the resource center that connected the middle and high schools at that time (both buildings have since been overhauled, and the connecting resource center is no longer there). Rumors started to spread that we'd be released early.
* I remember being scared out of my wits when we were released early via the middle school cafeteria. I asked for an escort so I could at least try to do what little homework had been assigned up to that point (it was later pushed back).
Which led to the moment that so far has scarred me for life: I was granted the escort -- the principles knew immediately I wasn't behind this -- and I was escorted back to my locker, I saw the device that had detonated. It was still smoking and it had left a huge burn mark on the wall, still lying exactly where it went off.
I don't think I have to say much else. My dad left work for a few minutes to make sure I got home safely and he found a nervous wreck when he arrived (me). One of my brothers was jealous because he was in the middle school and I was like, "You think I wanted this to happen?!?"
I think I've said enough about this...I'll be back tonight, I guess.
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The really sad thing about this is that there is more where that came from. :( Even today it still makes me want to cry.
Here for you if you need to talk. Anytime. Message me or I can see you on meebo. Either way xx