So hard to understand
It is so hard to understand how you can try so hard to help someone, to be there for them and love them with all your heart and then they screw up theirs lives and somehow it is all your fault. That if you ask for a little bit of time or respect they twist it around and make it your fault that they cannot give you what you need. They cheat and lie and you forgive them and keep trying to prove that you are different then all the other people that hurt them. You believe that you are different and you can give them what they need to be happy. truth is they are so full of anger that eventually they see you with the same distain they see the rest of the world. They will ignore your feelings and you will not be allowed to have opinions or needs that do not match your own. The minute you ask for something because you truly need it they will stomp you into the ground and make you beg and plead to just show you a little love and then be angry for you for trying to take from them and for not understanding their needs and their feelings. Some people really are uncapable of functioning in a relationship because the world must revolve around theirs needs and they have to blame everyone but themselves when things go wrong. Yet it hurts so very much to let go.
I pray for the strength to stay away. I pray to be able to control the fear and anxiety and to take care of me. I deserve to be loved and treated with respect.
I pray for the strength to stay away. I pray to be able to control the fear and anxiety and to take care of me. I deserve to be loved and treated with respect.
Replies
yes you do deserve to be hugged, loved and treated wtih respect and understanding...not belittled. YOu deserve to have him there for you when you need him... instead he is a child having a fit...it is so sad and hurtful I know...I was there too.
Its true they see you with disdain like they do the rest of the world. I thought I would be different. But in the end I was viewed just the same. The thing is even thought I wanted to be the \"one\" I knew deep inside that he would turn eventually...I was always on pins and needles waiting. When it did happen it was horrible..it was like he had to make up in evil for everything he had ever said to me that was nice. A big part of my aftermath is not knowing who the hell I was with. I think I know how a serial killers wife would feel. So much hate and anger in them ugh.
Thank you ladies. I know you have both been through very similar situations and understand my pain. Your support is very appreciated.
Wow - did you marry my stbx or were you watching the failing and demise of our marriage through the window for the past 20 years.
Jarliew - that is the nice thing about DS - you realise that there are people who have \"been there, done that\" so they are able to understand how you feel :)