so freaky
Right now I kind of just need to know my place in the world. I wish I were among friends or family.
So I am writing here.
I was with my family earlier today- and then I came home. Getting back to being on my own was hard..
I think back on the past experience and
I worry at times that I am not living up to someone's standard, and have displeased them. Though I know
we all come to 'the party' with flaws and fears and a faceted emotional life.
Right now I need to step back and ask myself what it is that I need and want. I have started to think
of my feelings in terms of an Amber Alert. And so these feelings are telling me something.
I think my pestering feelings are telling me that I am not keeping busy. That I need to journal and get back
a sense of understanding of what's going on in my 'melon.' I feel better now. Tomorrow I go grocery shopping!
I can't wait! :) :)
Replies
People Pleasing is not very strong in the yaddahs of my personal blahs, but worry/anxiety is. Worry and anxiety seem to have the ability to saturate any personality type as surely as alcohol will inebriate any physical body type. I shoot to get sober before I sort the intellectual content of a worry infestation. It is not wise to work complex equations in an impaired state.
So opineth The Arf. . .
If ya likes grocery shopping, I have a list for you. . . It would please this crazy people immensely to hand over that list.
ha ha thanks arfie! It is really something how I get so lost in the worry - and I stop realizing that there's a world out there too.
A world that I can have a part in.
Worry is like quicksand. You can't build on it. You can only sink into it.
And this part of that world **out there** is a little miffed that you didn't take that shopping list off my hands. . . Does I need to put the invite into a fortune cookie? Just call me, "Cookie Monster."