When will the emptiness feel full? I often wonder it seems like I can't dig my way out of this horrible black hole. Luis you've been gone 35 days and it seems like 35 years. I hate my life without you. I know one day I will see you again but I hope it doesn't take too many years. I know this sounds selfish I do have my great wonderful kids but this hollow feeling consumes me. I can be with tons of people and feel so alone. Did God really intend for it to be this way? Everyone says God has a better plan well I am holding on for dear life but sometimes I find myself slipping back off again. It's so easy for people to say you'll be fine things will get better it's a time thing. Right now I am hating this time. I am praying that everyday I get closer to that time where there is some relaxation. The only thing that helps is my children but they are far away I thank God for everytime I get to spend with them. I absolutely dispise the weekends especially Sundays they are endless and dull. This is when Luis and I would plan to do something because he found them boring as well. I hope Luis is having a great time in heaven because down here it sure does stink right now. Luis you are still my best friend soul mate and love of my life.