So Empty

When will the emptiness feel full?  I often wonder it seems like I can't dig my way out of this horrible black hole.  Luis you've been gone 35 days and it seems like 35 years.  I hate my life without you.  I know one day I will see you again but I hope it doesn't take too many years.  I know this sounds selfish I do have my great wonderful kids but this hollow feeling consumes me.  I can be with tons of people and feel so alone.  Did God really intend for it to be this way?  Everyone says God has a better plan well I am holding on for dear life but sometimes I find myself slipping back off again.  It's so easy for people to say you'll be fine things will get better it's a time thing.  Right now I am hating this time.  I am praying that everyday I get closer to that time where there is some relaxation.  The only thing that helps is my children but they are far away I thank God for everytime I get to spend with them.  I absolutely dispise the weekends especially Sundays they are endless and dull.  This is when Luis and I would plan to do something because he found them boring as well.  I hope Luis is having a great time in heaven because down here it sure does stink right now.  Luis you are still my best friend soul mate and love of my life. 

Replies

lovingrob
lovingrob

I am so sorry you are going through this pain and I understand. My husband has been gone 4 weeks today and the emptiness you are feeling is exactly where I\'m at too. You wrote everything I feel. Know that we are here for you and sending you love, support, prayers and hugs. God Bless you during this time.
Pam
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so sorry for your loss. You have found a good site filled with lots of other sad souls at different points on the same sad journey. My prayers will include you and Luis tonight. Welcome to the \"club\" no one ever wanted to join. Dianne