So Conflicted!

I have an inner voice telling me I can't waste my time thinking anyone could love me. Once he finds out what's wrong with me, he's dodge. I need to delay talk about feelings with him and just try to keep te friendship thing going. We spent four hours talking. I even got comfortable talking about some painful things. Went through my manic phase and back down to my mellow/semi-depressed state of mind because i realise there still so much I've left out of our conversation. i let him know I'm not ready to discuss it being serious. I'd like to wait until he knows who I'm about before telling him.
He seems like a nice guy, he's hopping he is and i guess what i say would be a test to see if he really is what he say he is but again I wont tell him what I'm not ready to. Besides I'm enjoying what we have as friends right now a lot.
I know he likes me and I like him. He saw me to my door, and he gave me a hug which was so prolonged...It shouldn't have lasted that long! I feel like going nuts right now. I don't deserve to be happy and i know this won't last for me. This makes me so depressed right now to the point I could start avoiding him to prevent my feelings going further. But i want to be happy!