So sad

I do not want to move back in with my parents but I have no choice.  No job and an inability to find work because of my previous track record with quitting along with manic spending has left me broke and broken.  I don't want to leave my friends and support network and move an hour and a half away just to move into a very stressful situation.  My mother means well but she is very high strung and doesn't seem to understand how she places so much responsibility for her stablity in my hands.  I can't even handle my own!  Hopefully, this is a temporary exile and I can get into graduate school and move back.  If not, I don't know what I am going to do.  I should be grateful for the help and the place to live but I can't help being overwhelmingly sad about the whole thing.  I have eight days to move and I've barely started packing.  I feel like a total failure.  Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it but there are too many people to disappoint that way as well.  I just hope I can remember that living so far away...