so

so I saw my bro for coffee today. It was nice to hang out and talk.

He is so dynamic and has such an expansive, positive view on life that it's infectious.

I came home and made lunch, feeling ready for anything to do with my day - 

but then realized my courage was more about being conservative at home - not

spending any more for the weekend - and as a result kind of just luxuriating at home (as my therapist talked about it.)

Sitting peacefully and taking care of Blue.

I feel a bit wormy for not having the courage or drive to be more agressive about achieving

goals outside of the homebody life, but just now, I thought about my life, my real life.

That I am holding down a job - and holding down taking care of expenses...all while having

the challenges we all share here. 

Those thoughts are giving me the sense of well being about my choices enough to feel good

about my decisions - and yes I'll explore the topic with my therapist on Tuesday - to see if

there are... well there indeed are... different ways of thinking about moving forward with personal

projects outside of work - rather than just feeling a lack of courage about the pursuit of them.

I have to say though - I do have things I do in life - from the Treepeople, to helping my parents and volunteering

at the CMATO.......maybe I am comparing my brother's enthusiasm for

his own magical life (which I appreciate) to my own thoughtful systematized and deliberate ways.

Anyways, we were talking today about his friends and I mentioned to him something my therapist

mentioned to me...That is the idea that 'we all have different languages of love'....and we learn to 

speak them with each other. My bro agreed - he added that 'we come to an agreement about that together'.

Anyways, so it goes. It felt good to realize that again today and share it with my big bro.

I hope you guys are having a good day!! YOU ROCK!!! peace.