smothering distance
Exactly as the heading. I feel like anymore he's trying to "catch up" on snuggling intimate time. I actually feel like he's smothering me. I can't stand it sometimes. I want distance, I NEED my space. At one time I needed this from him as it was NEVER reciprocated. But, I've hardened over the years and learned how to cope without intimacy.
Maybe it started with him never caring until this past year (after realizing he has a problem) about our dating anniversary. He always told me how anniversaries didn't matter until you were married.
he had to refer back to the marriage license to know our marriage anniversary. I actually found where he keeps our marriage license, and he admitted it, laughingly.
He's had to look at my driver's license for my birthdate...however, he's only remembered the last 6/9 of them. The last one he forgot, I called up his mom driving to work. I was FURIOUS. He had the opportunity to call me, to text me, to tell me real quick in person as I was walking out the door...but he didn't.
The one that hurts the most was when I worked daylight one day. He was off from work. He somehow remembered the time he was to drop off our baby at daycare (they were open till midnight). However, he "forgot" why. I came home that late afternoon, gave him the benefit of the doubt. He never came home. I hadn't eaten a morsal all day as we were to go out to dinner for my birthday. I had to track him down at his then best friend's house. He forgot. He said he had plans for me that didn't follow through. Never found out what those plans were.
What's triggering all this??? i noticed that house #2 that I really wanted had been sold. We could've gotten a house. We were preapproved a couple years ago but needed more downpayment. but, now we can't afford it, and are much, much more in debt because of his god*damned addiction. Everything it has cost us....we pay out of pocket for both of our therapies. New bedroom furniture to help my triggers stop. New computers to get rid of the old dirty one. New programs for the computers. Etc etc. Here we are still renting, when we were supposed to have been moved by now.
And, now he wants to snuggle, to make himself feel more secure, to make himself feel more loved. Well, I needed that in this relationship a hell of a lot sooner. Now, I just don't want it. I find myself annoyed.
I need my space. He had his "space" our entire relationship. I trusted him, and he violated that trust.
Now, I need him to back off and give ME my space.
Maybe it started with him never caring until this past year (after realizing he has a problem) about our dating anniversary. He always told me how anniversaries didn't matter until you were married.
he had to refer back to the marriage license to know our marriage anniversary. I actually found where he keeps our marriage license, and he admitted it, laughingly.
He's had to look at my driver's license for my birthdate...however, he's only remembered the last 6/9 of them. The last one he forgot, I called up his mom driving to work. I was FURIOUS. He had the opportunity to call me, to text me, to tell me real quick in person as I was walking out the door...but he didn't.
The one that hurts the most was when I worked daylight one day. He was off from work. He somehow remembered the time he was to drop off our baby at daycare (they were open till midnight). However, he "forgot" why. I came home that late afternoon, gave him the benefit of the doubt. He never came home. I hadn't eaten a morsal all day as we were to go out to dinner for my birthday. I had to track him down at his then best friend's house. He forgot. He said he had plans for me that didn't follow through. Never found out what those plans were.
What's triggering all this??? i noticed that house #2 that I really wanted had been sold. We could've gotten a house. We were preapproved a couple years ago but needed more downpayment. but, now we can't afford it, and are much, much more in debt because of his god*damned addiction. Everything it has cost us....we pay out of pocket for both of our therapies. New bedroom furniture to help my triggers stop. New computers to get rid of the old dirty one. New programs for the computers. Etc etc. Here we are still renting, when we were supposed to have been moved by now.
And, now he wants to snuggle, to make himself feel more secure, to make himself feel more loved. Well, I needed that in this relationship a hell of a lot sooner. Now, I just don't want it. I find myself annoyed.
I need my space. He had his "space" our entire relationship. I trusted him, and he violated that trust.
Now, I need him to back off and give ME my space.
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