Smokey lives in my heart even if I am dating Dave.

Smokey will always live in my heart.  He was the love of my life and my soul mate.  I will love him, treasure him, cherish the memories of him and carry him wherever I go and whoever I am involved with in this life.  I loved him so much.  Smokey loved me very deeply.  He must have known something was wrong and he was trying to prepare me for when he died.  Smokey wanted me to find love again.  We had this conversation many times.  The first time I almost cried and could not deal with it.  This was so very important to Smokey.  He was emphatic about me finding love again.  I said I have the best with you and that I probably would not date anyone after him.  This angered Smokey as he could not bear the fact that I would be alone.  He said no Diane, you find someone else to love and be happy with as that is all I want for you when I die.  It would make me very happy.  I could not deal with it when Smokey first talked about it.  After awhile, I went along with him, which made Smokey very happy.  We talked about this a lot.  I believe he was trying to prepare me in his own way. 
Ten months later and Dave has entered into my life.  I thought it was too soon but there is never a time limit on grieving and meeting someone new.  I had met a lot of creeps before I met Dave.  I was not looking either.  My heart was open but I was not looking to find anyone.  I wanted to see what was out there and I enjoy good conversations with people.  Alla heard what I was talking about meeting someone.  She also heard Dave wanted to meet someone.  She brought us together.  Dave thanked her for bringing the two of us together or we would never have met.  It has almost been one month.  Where does the time go when you are having fun?  I am not sure what to make of it as I am still mourning the loss of Smokey.  I am not making anything out of it.  I am enjoying dating Dave.  He is my gentle giant as Dave stands 6'5" tall compared to me at 5'2".   Dave is a good man.  We are so blessed and lucky to have been brought together.  We both have our issues.  Mine is the loss of Smokey.  Dave has his as well.  We have to accept one another for who and what we are now, which is accepting the fact we both have issues in our lives.  We both have a past.  Who we are now is just fine.  It seems to work.  We can be ourselves knowing we are accepted by one another.  It is the easiest, relaxing, comfortable and feels right relationship that we have, which we have said it to one another.  I have never had a romantic relationship like this one.  It is unique for both of us.  We have had many firsts with one another.  At our ages, who knew there were still firsts for both of us. 
Anyhow, I have to sign off now as it is almost 8:00 a.m. and I have to get ready for school - taking Excel Level I.  You can teach an old dog new tricks just look at me.
This is where I am at this stage of my life at 54 years of age.  It is not bad for an old broad.  From Diane Baillie

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

LOL You\'re not so old; I have almost 10 years on you! I think it\'s great that you have an easygoing relationship with Dave - no demands, no expectations, just enjoying what you have today, and who knows where it might lead? I\'m glad that Smokey gave you permission to move on rather than being all alone for the rest of your life - which could be a long time at your youthful age.


Hugs, Gail
Patswife
Patswife

Well done! Just be happy. Hugs, Wendy
deleted_user
deleted_user

Just enjoy the time together and take it slowly. Everyone deserves happiness.
Hugs, Dianne
deleted_user
deleted_user

Very happy for you! I hope to take some classes in January for basic computer. Have a lead on a job for elder care. I wasn\'t really wanting to go in that direction, but I do like working with elders. Hope you have a good weekend