Smokey and I were supposed to grow old together.

Smokey and I were supposed to grow old together.  Its not fair.   Today I can't concentrate on job searching when I am so angry that Smokey and I are not growing old together.  He went ahead of me.  Its just not fair as he was the love of my life and my soul mate.  What happened?  Why did it all change?  Its just not fair.  Its just not fair.   Yes I love my life and am grateful for it.  The glitch in the system was that Smokey died before we had the chance to grow old together.  It isn't fair.  Today I am angry at that fact.  I don't want to find another partner nor find a job.  Smokey and I had plans.  Just for today I am angry at that fact.  Tomorrow will be another day and I will feel different.  Just for today I am allowed to be angry that Smokey is not here growing old with me.  Just for today from Diane B.