Smiling....

I didn't sleep last night....I mean didn't sleep....

Tossed and turned , hating my bully boss for her crap email yesterday

But in the morning I was determined to tackle the day head on

I read Amelah's and pitstops lovely supportive messages and knew buttercup princess would send one, and felt good

Wow, you guys help me so much

I curled my hair, put on a power outfit, fixed my make up and actually smiled

The kids were great

We've got a horrible sickness bug running through the school and during assembly a kid was actually sick over a whole line of other kids,poor thing.

I watched my bully head led a remembrance assembly today....I watched her carefully to work out why I hate her so much....powerful words for me

The kids were age 3-18 as it's a 'through' school but only has 525 kids in it. The older kids were outstanding and moving as they read ww2 poetry, the 6 year olds were fantastic reading their words too, the high school orchestra was super and then I noticed alongside everyone else noticing for the 100th time the head had chosen her daughter for the star role again.....it was so obvious and unfair as we watched her daughter take to the stage...
I remembered why I hate her

The heads speech was shaky and a bit embarrassing-parents were there- she urrrrrr'd a lot and stuttered and ummmmm lots during her speech...the kids out shone her

Then one of the kids were sick

I noticed even though 4 members of staff dealt silently and discreetly with the chaos, she didn't acknowledge it

Later my line manager chatted to me about the nasty email

She said

' didn't you notice I tried to 'interrupt' it? Her response was unnecessary and uncalled for, you were doing your job very well and safeguarding'

That's all I needed

A person on my side

Phew

My day was good

Even though kids were being sick everywhere!

I just needed

VALIDATION

And I got it

I left my phone at home so as not to get texts from my ex

And felt good

I walked my dog in the pitch black darkness and breathed in the lovely cold air

And felt free

Free enough to have a future

I giggled with my daughter and saw her sweetness and loveliness

And it warmed my soul

Everyone has demons and I certainly have mine

I cling to people who are bad for me because I'm afraid to be alone

This site has helped me so much...my friends on here, who understand and advise even when I don't know what is going on

Thank you x

Replies

Pitstop
Pitstop

That headteacher ought to be struck off.! Glad you got validation and I love your gratitudes! xx
amelah
amelah

I wish the kid yakked all over the head teacher. That would be \"Just Desserts.\"

Then I would have been smiling, too.

Always great to get validation, from unlikely corner. Someone\'s got your back. Now if only they would stand beside you.

Excellent boundary setting. No cellphone, no texting. That\'s hard to do these days. I think I might feel a bit lost if I left the ole cell phone at home. But you\'re much more busy than I am, so hopefully you didn\'t even have time to miss it.

I don\'t know what\'s going on most times. Thanks for the affirmation that my feedback is of value now & again.

Sorry about the toss & turn. That happened to me all last night, too. Very little sleep.

Full Moon? Mercury in Retrograde, Again? Bad Chinese food? ;) Stress? yeah. oh yeah. I need to stop biting the inside of my cheeks during my sleep :(

((Hugs))
ButterCupPrincess
ButterCupPrincess

Lots of good things going on here! Validation, yay! Setting boundaries to take care of yourself, yay! Self awareness continuing to develop, yay!

I\'m sorry about the lack of sleep. I\'ve had the same problem recently. I guess we could blame some of it on the full moon or whatnot as Amelah said. I blame mine on stress at work.

I know how it feels to be bullied at work. I know what you\'re going through with all that. I\'m really struggling with that right now too.