Small vacations

Oh, I also realized that me going back home to Greece, and actually being happy about it for the first time in years, is an expression of my extreme need to go back to my teenage and childhood years, to be babysitted, to have no anarchic concerns -the only concerns (about school mostly) to be structured and organized, to have people to love me unconditionally....
Like, I don’t actually feel that nicely about my parents and I have NOTHING positive left back home but Canterbury is being TOO MUCH these days, and I have filled to my fullest with people, feelings and thinking processes in here... I’m tired of feeling like I babysit people myself, I’m tired of having to clean, tidy up, make my bed, being bored cause of my vacant routine, feeling ambivalent about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE.. I’m tired of feeling like I’m being taken advantage of, and then I’m tired of hating myself because I offer the advantage. 
I’m just tired...