Small update on going back "home"
I've been thinking SO MUCH lately that I really don't feel like going into any detail; just a couple of things..
My parents have finally realized that being above my head all the time is extremely unhealthy for me, so now it felt like there were not there at all. However they are extremely supportive and they believe in me SO MUCH that it makes me terribly stressed and anxious cause I feel like I have this need to meet their expectations and it is more than obvious that I can't.
And the biggest highlight. I saw my psychotherapist and psychiatrist while back home. They told me that I should start taking medication for some time... They gave me 4 different pills. FOUR. An anti-depressant, an anti-psychotic, an anxiolytic, and a sleeping pill (: FOUR. And there might also be a fifth one, cause the doc told me that one of the side effects is increased appetite and he saw me completely freaked out (cause they know I have huge issues with food), and hopefully he will give me this 5th pills that blocks appetite, otherwise I'll kill myself, seriously.
But yea, I don't have the pills yet cause they wanna monitor me and shiz and that's difficult through the distance Greece-England lol. But it's very good I haven't started medication yet, cause while being back home ALL i could think about is drugs and cutting, and mixing 4 different pills with codeine or w/e would be BAD.
So yea, I'm really bad, and on the very edge or psychosis, FML (:
P.S.: The yellow OK face just because codeine <3
My parents have finally realized that being above my head all the time is extremely unhealthy for me, so now it felt like there were not there at all. However they are extremely supportive and they believe in me SO MUCH that it makes me terribly stressed and anxious cause I feel like I have this need to meet their expectations and it is more than obvious that I can't.
And the biggest highlight. I saw my psychotherapist and psychiatrist while back home. They told me that I should start taking medication for some time... They gave me 4 different pills. FOUR. An anti-depressant, an anti-psychotic, an anxiolytic, and a sleeping pill (: FOUR. And there might also be a fifth one, cause the doc told me that one of the side effects is increased appetite and he saw me completely freaked out (cause they know I have huge issues with food), and hopefully he will give me this 5th pills that blocks appetite, otherwise I'll kill myself, seriously.
But yea, I don't have the pills yet cause they wanna monitor me and shiz and that's difficult through the distance Greece-England lol. But it's very good I haven't started medication yet, cause while being back home ALL i could think about is drugs and cutting, and mixing 4 different pills with codeine or w/e would be BAD.
So yea, I'm really bad, and on the very edge or psychosis, FML (:
P.S.: The yellow OK face just because codeine <3
Replies
Dang. I know that feeling of your parents believing in you so much it adds to the stress.
SUCKS that you have all that stuff to deal with, on top of trying to stay away from drugs. I suffer from a very miiiiild social anxiety. Nothing I\'m going to complain about, as I can generally banish my stuff with a hard ass attitude (When I get in an uneasy at a situation, just the notion that I had a flickering doubt straightens me right out,).
I hate pills. The doc prescribed BusPar when I told him I had anxiety, but I decided to opt for meditation and changing my lifestyle habits.
Not to blow you up with questions, but what\'s your diet like?
What sort of things do you do to occupy yourself mentally and physically?
(I feel for ya :P )
Oh, and I am an artist as well. (I will try to post some stuff tomorrow, though I\'m not sure I should, it gets kinda dark, lol)
POUR yourself into it. Even when you feel like you can barely hold a pen or brush. It can be difficult, but when you get flowing, LOOK OUT! MAGIC! :D