Slump

 It's been a long time since I was honest with myself... it's bringing up emotions I've surpessed for a long time, not just about my sexuality, but also other issues in my life. I thought I was ready to deal with them again, but maybe I'm not. I'm anxious all the time, it's been weeks without it letting up and everytime I think about the amount of time, I've been in the closet, it makes it worse. i'm starting to shut donw alittle, i think i just need some time with myself, to think. I dont know how much longer I can wait to start university. It's a bigger envirnment, I dont have to confront all of my friends about my secret and I have the freedom to be with whom ever I want. This part of my life scares me a little and I'm not sure what to do to handle it right... idk...i wish i could be more comfortable, and i'm sure being with someone, would help that alot, but right now, i'm just floating around, trying firgure out how to get my feet on the ground again. i'm probably just gonna read tonight, go to bed early, watch a movie...