Slow Me Down

Today is a good day.  It's always a good day to be alive.  I have a few days off and I'm trying something I never really did before... just slowing down and enjoying them.

I went for a nice hike in the woods yesterday.  The fall colors are just coming in.  I did some praying, which was nice.  The only time I really feel close to something spiritual is when I'm alone in nature.

I know that I am happy and healthier than a year ago.  This has been a year of incredible change.  

I never knew what it meant to be in recovery, but I do know that I am in recovery:

I'm in recovery from alcoholism, from PTSD and Iraq, and from a decade or more of treating myself very poorly.  

I know that I'm going to be okay, though.  For a long time, I and people in my life had real doubts as to whether or not I would pull through.  

Still, I need more patience.  I keep hearing this voice that says slow down.  

The changes I deeply want to see happen in my life won't happen overnight.  It took a long time and a lot of poor choices to get here.  Reaching out is new for me.  But I am so glad I'm doing it.

J.P.