Sinking feelings...

Okay, so at least I found a replacement topic for my research paper this morning, which is something that really I absolutely had to do.  But other than that, I can't find the motivation to do much.
It seems that all I want to do is cry.  Tomorrow will be my 33rd birthday...but I don't feel like celebrating.  I try to let my feelings out in my private journal but it feels like I've lost too much, thrown too much away, with basically no chance at ever getting it back.
I want badly to talk live to one of my friends here -- just for comfort -- but none of them seem to be on.  Plus I'm finding out that somehow IE9 isn't supporting Meebo, so on my desktop trying to get a chat going is basically useless.
I really don't know what else I can do.  Even my SimplyNoise iPod Touch app couldn't lull me into sleeping through the night last night, so it's pretty clear that I have a problem...