silliness time.

my dryer will not DRY CLOTHES unless I turn it on.  so crazy.......why doesn't it do it's job telepathically?  ......and we already know someday it will.  good news or thoughts of freaky things to come???

woke at 6 am uncertain.  get up?  shower?  try to sleep?  i heard a voice from deep within shouting GET UP YA LAZY BROAD......so up I got.  Showered, dressed, meds.....drug in the dirty laundry to laundry room central --- lots of it.  Spilled something purplish red on the comforter........pretty sure it was me & not the fake ghost guest.  having a fake ghost guest can come in handy for blaming of all manner of things.  adopt one today. (i call mine fake GiGi....dorky all the way)

----put the trash bags on an old broken office chair on wheels & got everything to the curb.  such an easy way to transport trash.......still tossing the chair regardless.  step one in the plan to tidy the garage.

before i forget i must place a notice to all birds of the air:

DEAR FREAKING BIRDS.......

normally we are friends, friends that i admire very much.  however, the last time i was out, someone, or several someones & YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE....POO POOPED ON MY CAR.  it is grossness personified.  truly nasty.  do i leave doo doo on your nests? 

large plops of poo poop....do i come to your trees, your bushes & do my business?  no....no I do not.  I expect better of you and yours. 

...and then i thought, perhaps i am being overly critical & judgemental?  when have i ever put a tiny roll of toilet paper out there on my car antennae for your personal use?  i mean you should probably bring your own like campers do......but maybe i should be more thoughtful and place a tiny roll of soft tissue for your use?  for all i know your bird council has met about the many long unjust issues facing the bird community........like the fact that you only have outdoor accomodations, like statues, park benches, cars, buildings, the backs of unfortunate people the world over........

i know this happens because it happened to me.  i was trying to impress a very gorgeous latin man named Ivan Coehlo when I was a lovely young girl of 19......and one of your own, a certain seagull dropped a load onto my beautiful previously clean skin.....whereupon it rolled down my back onto my pretty sundress.....which was all for Ivan's benefit.  This was the first and last time Ivan invited me to walk along the marina......and I knew it would be so (for who wants to marry & create a family with a girl who attracts poo poop la doo doo from the bird population.  Now he saw me as a bathroom station for winged ones everywhere ......so what could he do but begin to court Nancy Curran.  Tall, skinny not me Nancy Curran.  sigh........by now you'd think I'd have recuperated from this humiliation.  think shmink.....hah!  (and yes, they GOT MARRIED!,NOT THAT I'M STILL BITTTTTTTER!)

And yet...I still wanna press charges.......at a later date I discovered quite by accident after consuming a few libations around a campfire with friends & new acquaintances that I am not the only one to experience this.  Many among us have been dealt a blow by a winged creature from overhead.  One minute our days were carefree and happy ......unadorned by mighty nasty bird excrement and then WHAMMO!  Kuhblewy! ........our lives & reputations were never again the same.  Many of us suffer from PTBDD.  Post Traumatic Bird Doo Doo.

An unexpected diatribe, but it had to come out sooner or later.

......and yet, y'all know i am a bird lover....so please, if you can look up and see some of our winged friends please put in a good word for me....because how will fake Edward with the gorgeous eyes and silver hair find me? court me?  or woo me for life if the birds should this happen again now in my golden years?.........i think fake edward and i could be very happy......fall in love......share fake adventures......from ....well from a very low key perspective.  it occurs to me that if fake edward should date me it would have to be primarily bedside........and so not in a hot, sexy way.  (did i just type that out loud???) (please keep that between us) sigh...........darling fake edward, get me a fake bed jacket....blue i think.  something frilly & sweet......we'll hold hands & sing in the sunshine.

your silly bird loving friend despite the trauma of PTBDD.....have a wondrous day.