Sick and Tired of this
I'm sick and tired of these mood swings. I'm fine one minute and horrid the next. Last night I was so tempted to cut I can't even tell you how badly I wanted to do it. I was almost drooling over it. I just went to sleep, though, and managed to make it out with just a couple scratched mosquito bites. I tried the faking it thing again today and failed. I went to the pool and it was nice to be in the warm water, but I didn't feel like talking to anybody and I didn't know anyone there so I left after a short time. I went out with Geo's mom (my mil) for lunch, and that was me trying to be as positive as I could for the day. It's like my energy for happiness was drained. Now I just want to lie in bed and do nothing. Not even sleep. Just lie in bed and let life pass by. I heard what sounded like a low flying plane overhead, and for a second I wished it was headed for the nuclear plant I live near just so it could be over. I'm not going to hurt myself, and if I think I'm going to, I know to go to the hospital. I have klonopin to knock myself out, and if that doesn't work I will go in. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm going to go lie down now.
Replies
Hang tough Rissa, at least you know what to do and it\'s just the moods swings. Sorry for the slump your in right now, hope it evens off and you can continue on your recovery. Hugs to you.
if you feel that you need to go to the hospital then go.sometimes we just know what we need, i am worried about you and maybe thats the best place for you right now to get a med tweek and feel better. big hugs ..marie
You need to talk to you Pdoc about this, they adjusted your meds up on you last week and I think that was a mistake, it seems to have had a bad efffect on you, you shoud call the doctor and drop your meds back down to the levels they were at 2 weeks ago. Then see if this doesn\'t get you back on track, this latest med increase didn\'t do you right.
this is a very depressed cycle you are in and im so sorry. i know you will go in the hospital if it comes to that, though the thinking of suiced and wishing life would end is vwry worrisome and scary. dont \"fake\" it anymore, what good does it really do any of us? please hang in there, maybe get some sleep. does geo know about this current state?