Should I just roll over and die now?
I hate my late husband. I really hate him. Perhaps I may have loved him in life but in death I hate him. He did not take care of me AT ALL. He did not leave a will. He screwed me out of the house. He did not leave adequate life insurance. He did not change the beneficiary designations on any of the savings (401k's, IRA's, Pensions) accounts. So, his ex is claiming in excess of 10k owed her in extraordinary childcare expenses, plus 375k in life ins he was SUPPOSED to have left for his girls. His 4 girls are suing for estate in its entirety. They have sued me in 2 separate suits, using the same lawyers, contrived to place me in a lose lose corner. And, it is working. I have been removed as admin of the estate, replaced by an independent court apptd admin who is now going to cost the estate 10's of thousands of dollars -- that it does not have. In the end of this, the ex and the girls can only gain and I can only lose. But SHE has a job for 100k whereas I am disabled and unemployed. And THEY get to go to top tier universities, at not cost to them, and graduate with degrees and get good paying jobs. Me? I get to join the welfare ranks... I am PISSED, ANGRY and FILLED WITH HATE!
Replies
Rachel, I am SO SORRY this is working out the way it is! What I do not understand is how the ex can be claiming all this money this many years later, if it was supposed to be for the support of the girls who are now of age. This says a lot about what kind of people they are, and it is possibly the reason your husband was not concerned enough about taking care of you. He probably did not think he was letting you down - he probably just could not deal with the craziness of the ex and just sort of blocked it out of his mind. I do understand your anger, and it is certainly justified. You don\'t sound like anybody who will just \"roll over and die\", and you shoudn\'t! I hope your lawyer can pull out enough for you to live on, even if humbly for awhile, and be able to walk away with dignity. These people are undoubtedly going to get exactly what they deserve in the long run, and I predict it won\'t be what they are expecting in terms of happiness. You are fighting to survive, not \"win\". Keep venting here if it helps - you know we are on your side! laurabp
His ex could talk circles around him. He hated to deal with her. So she kept this supposed running tab of expenses owed to her. She submitted this complicated spreadsheet of expenses, and no one can understand it. I think she does it on purpose to confuse everyone. But I see items on there that are NOT extraordinary expenses: school lunches??? auto insurance for GROWN UP kids??? clothing and shoes (she claims they are extraordinary because they were for their Bat Mitzvahs -- but EACH girl turned 12, and EACH girl had a Bat Mitzvah, so what is extraordinary about that???).
She also wants to be reimbursed for paying for the oldest daughter and her husband and their child to fly from Israel to the States when my husband was in the hospital and we knew we would be burying him. She also claims that they had an agreement whereby which, even though they each took out loans for 50% of each girls college tuition, he would pay her back a percentage so as to make the allocation of expense match their income ratios. (He never told ME that...). So, I think more than half of what she is claiming is BUNK. And she shows no proof of the rest, either, other than her convoluted spreadsheet.
Well, there you go! You have to wonder what judge would take that stuff seriously! Surely you could prove how much of your income was directly from your own earnings/investments? I does not sound logical that she could claim YOUR money. Too bad you cannot get her for some sort of claim for mental distress and harrassment! Hopefully some of her claims will be laughed out of court. laurabp
You are misunderstanding: the estate has very little value, but enough that it could be a source of financial security for me. But, I am unemployed, disabled, and with no savings. She and the girls are attemting to take EVERYTHING from me. They will NOT succeed in GETTING everything - but what they ARE succeeding at is causing the estate to lose most of its value to lawyers and to the independent admin that they already caused the court to appoint in my stead. That is tens of thousands of dollars DOWN THE DRAIN. So, in the end, no one gets ANYTHING. But THEY do not LOSE anything. She keeps her house which she did not even pay for anyway (my husband did), she keeps her 100k per year job, she has a husband, her girls and her family are intact, the girls continue to attend their fricken schools and will graduate and get jobs that have STARTING salaries where MY salary ENDED. But ME? I lost my husband, I lost his family, I am losing my house and I am losing my financial security. I am disabled, uneducated, and unemployed. They are screwing me without any care for me whatsoever. No matter that I helped to pay for them to attend their damn private schools and that I put my life on hold forTHEM for the past 9 years. Those BITCHES could care less about me.
I\'m sorry. I am still looking for work after being unemployed for over a year, so I do get what it feels to be in a very hard place financially. It is terrible the way they are treating you. I wish I could say something really great and encouraging other than just hang in there and hopefully things will get better. laurabp