SHIT,SHIT, SHIT

Shit, that's whats falling in all around me. If it's not one thing it another. I don't know how much more I can take, I just want to feel better. Seems like everything is just going down the pot..1. went for job interveiw yesterday, got there and turned around and left never went to it, I think I had a bit of a panic attack.2. Microwave took a crap, called landlord he said  that it's a luxury item and if I wanted to buy a new 1 I could, this is a built in over the range $200-$3003. My dog has something wrong with her, she can't lift her tail and is whining alot, you can tell she's in pain, called vet of course they said bring her in $$$$,  I can't afford it , went on line and was told to give it a day or 2 she might have bruised or sprained her tail, if you have a Lab you know how hard they wag thier tails.4. My son is driving me crazy, agrues about everything, never does what he's supposed to do or what he's says he'll do. Lies about school work, he thinks that if he passes that I shouldn't be complaining,. We got into tonight I took away his video games for 2 weeks his phone it wasn't pretty. I did p[retty well, I didn't lose my temper. Everything is just such an ordeal.5. Went to Derm Dr he took 4 biopsies,looking for more Basal cell skin cancer. 1 on my face again, and my chest and arms. Had a spot removed this year on my face was just horrific still have issues, Dr calling post Traumatic stress. Now I have to wait 2-3 weeks for results.6. My poor stepsons, their little brother has been told he has only a couple of months to live, he has Cancer. I feel so helpless, I don't know how to help them thru this, I cant imagine what they are going thru. Their Dad my X makes them promises and doesn't keep them they call me and ask if I can get thier Dad to follow thru, which I can't.7. the Holidays, I don't even want anything to do with themI'm just so overwhelmed, just want to curl up until it all goes away, I know that because I'm depressed things seem much worse then they are, but that's not helping me. I just feel like I'm knocked off my feet, I don't even now if I want to get back up, it would be easier just to stay down. I am totally alone right now, I really have no one close,as I have managed to push them all away or lately not letting anyone even come close.