Seroquel

I am unsure as to what I am feeling anymore. I think that something is wrong with the medication and then I feel anxious because it is the week end and there is nothing I can do to change them now. I feel badly that I never told my doctor my honest feelings of suicidal thoughts, depression, and halucinations. My whole kneck is tightening up just thinking about it. I canme to the museum today and I feel as though I can't leave, like I am trapped. I am still waiting on a responce from diability and I hope they accept my case and I get some type of funding from them. I am extremely broke and I am living on credit and the ceditors are eacting me alive. I keep my phone on vibrate so I can avoid hearing the ring everytime one calls. They start at 8 am and go on all day. I need disability and I need a job. I can't live like this anymore. I am becoming more and more depressed. I have not exercised in two days and recently that is odd for me. I think that seroquel, even though it makes me gain weight, is also saving my life. I think it helps me sleep and keeps my moom at a good level. I am scareed though, I am scared of the future and what is going to happen. Rachael is no longer a friend to me. She doesn't talk to me and I have not contacted her. She did contact me when her neighbor got her car booted and needed a ride home from school when in fact her neighbor could have called me directly and they live 16 blocks from the house. What a bitch to do that kinda thing. Everytime I am around her she sucks up my time and my money. I know that she loves living beyond her means but why drag me down too? this relationship has been toxic for years now and I need to end it.
 
I need to pick up my perscriptions from target on my way home. I feel sad and lonely with no friends and only leaning on my family for everything. I dont have a car anymore so I am constantly asking my dad for his car and I feel guilty for that. I am trying to find a new psychologist because everyone else is not helping me. As Dr Power told me to talk to her beore I fire her and seek new psychological help. I have to go I am so down and I am at the museu computer and feel uncomfortable writing here.
 
Goodnight moon