Sensitivity
I am such a worrier and a lot of my worry comes from being over sensitive. Everyone's comments to me are taken so personally whether they are important ot not I take them so personally. I analyze and worry I overthink and can't let them go. My husband was having a bad da6 was cranky and had lots to do and my over baring under appreciative aunt would not stop calling to get curtain rods hung up so he stopped all his projects t9 tun for her once again. When we got there he was in a hurry and then she kept sdd8ng to the list he had to hang a tv. So while do8ng this he's behind the t. Try8ng to hold it with my help and very little help from her he just made a comment that it needed to be raise someone needs to help 8 can't do it alone he had some curse words. But he finished all her demands. She does not ask for help she expects it. We left he didn't do his normal hug see you sweety he was in a hurry to get winterizing at our home done. So she sends me a message that she will not be treated that way again and never ask him to do anything again. And it's got me so upset. I shouldn't care. She l8mes drama. But this is just one of many things. Strangers say dome5h8ng I overthink it I don't know how to not care about it
Replies
STOP. PAUSE. BREATHE. Choices, options, and repeat until calm and able to focus on a specific positive resolution.
When someone shares their 'problem', it does NOT make it yours.
Do not respond to a message until you are able to see clarity in the solution.
Sometimes, silence works best.
If your aunt is used to getting her way through complaining, and has the habit adding projects to the one she calls about, set a specific boundary and keep to it.
Learn the comfortable boundaries for your well-being.
Use your anxiety to help you stay in balance. When it is overwhelming, step back and follow the basic until you find what works.
Your aunt's feelings are hers, and NOT your problem.
There's a huge difference between 'asking' for help and respecting the ask and 'expecting' help when it's mentioned Saying to someone "I need help; or otherwise making it a statement is not 'asking'.
When she added the television while you both were present, an alternative would have been to say 'it will have to wait until we have extra help'.
"Care" replace with a different word to help sort out the pattern of thought associated with 'care'..
In doing 'drama' situations, and stepping back to see the real cause of anxiety feelings, you'll find the real issue.
Thank you I needed to hear that. I have such a hard time letting go of things. I’m always worrying overthinking things and stewing in them. I just don’t know how to let it go and be happy for myself
Here's to finding that balance to 'letting go and live in the moment'.