Self-Sabotage
I find myself sighing teary sighs for the my river dreams as the new rhythm of life with the GKs settles in. Did I really buy a River Pirate's Den I willnae ever have the opportunity to use? Most folks would call my Pirate's Den a house and I donae correct them but in my dreams of being a river rat when I grow up, that house be a pirate's den. Argh, matey. Ya needs a password to enter.
But here on this perch on the Southern Plains, I am a hard day's drive from the nearest navigable river. What local call a rivers look like creeks to my senses. It is possible to navigate parts of them in a canoe or kayak, but be prepared to carry your water craft for unpredictable stretches. When I attempt to quell my river cravings in this region, I end up feeling like a sea captain in a kiddie pool.
I'm plying self-sabotage tools because this is the sort of conflict that has caused me to self-sabotage in the past. If I can capsize whatever proverbial boat I am currently riding, I will be free to swim for the shore of my dreams. 'Tisnae my fault if those snot-nosed brats didnae take their swimming lessons seriously.
Beehaving now. . . Plying therapy tools. . . I cannae know when or if I will ever be able to get back to my river dreams, but the love and comfort here on the dusty plains feels like it will be worth the sacrifice. At least, that's my prayer and I'm sticking to it.
Replies
Arfie, Your River Den sounds nice....I hope you are able to get back to the river soon. My treehouse plans got squashed this weekend as it looks like rain here and there....
Did you buy a house for the river?
The house is near the Port of Paducah. Near enough for easy access to the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers and many of their tributaries, but far enough for flood safety.
Nice. I moved from near the ocean, and the stipulation I had it had to be near the St. John's river.
Out new house is only blocks away from the river. There is something very peaceful about being near water.
peace arfie. sometimes one door closes and another opens. i hope that one day your GKs will support your boating aspirations and they can manifest as a family outing and morph into something riparian? (I love that word.) ha
Per chance, as the GK’s mature over the years, you can introduce them to the river dreams, just like you introduced them to the turkey babies~ i suspect, though it might not seem so all the time, that time in this case, may well be on your side. Triple hugs as you find you way through the bends and curves of the dust bowl and the river rat. Triple hugs and more prayers~
The Dust Bowl and The River Rat. . .
You might have found the title for my autobiography, Dreamer.
I like it and I cant wait to read it ~
I agree with Dreamer. A future of river trips. The GD can stay put to care for the livestock. Hugs to all.
Often I find myself at the river dreams den in spirit. I need the break or I break.
hugs.