Self responsible and being compassionate

I didn’t go to church early this morning to set up.



I didn’t go to church early yesterday either.


I feel like a failure. Like I know what it takes to commit and yet I cannot do that.


But I thought about my last conversation with my therapist and a comment of Susan's  and I thought about how it gave another perspective to see....  


and then my mind started to change and relax...


I started to have room for error, room for variance and it also brought to mind something my father said to me about a situation and that is: “It’s about averages”. I know I mostly do a good job. I think they know that, and now I know that.


Last night I was interrupted while taking my meds. And so I either took more or less than usual. It freaked me out and this morning I felt so high strung and ungrounded it colored my choice to stay in my room late. 

I'll talk to the sister I help in the mornings.


Happy Thanksgiving!!


xx

Replies

beckyp
beckyp

Happy Thanksgiving to you too Mark.
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Becky!! Happy Thanksgiving!!
malibumark
malibumark

It becomes such a fun game to take care of yourself sometimes.
Getting everything done. Marking off lists. Keeping on top of things
all the things I am supposed to do.
Getting to things - creative things - I am having difficulty getting to -seems to be a diametric opposite
thing for me. I need to sort it out
malibumark
malibumark

I think if i think about it as a kind of relationship -
like I would investing in a partner-
and a communication with others is helping
see it better
malibumark
malibumark

The thought has seeped in and birthed that ‘you can’t always have the kind of relationship with a thing or a person that you would like’. God it’s bed wonderful being here. It’s taught me so much!

I’m starting to see what I ask of folks and awake to it as well!
malibumark
malibumark

Appreciating things much more