self compassion
I know I associate to feel a sense of knowing or validation for what I do or create or put forth out there
And yet there can be an extremity to the reliance or degree to which this expectation manifests
a little coming down to earth and some health are here because I see that I kind of have an extreme expectation
Replies
I definitely feel better. I feel weak but I feel clear about what is my choice and owning that vs a sense of wanting attention blindly.
I know this stuff is all kind of technically put, I just don’t know express it so well. I’m pretty sure as I continue to work and live with it, I’ll develop the tools.
Thanks and have a happy day.
Sometimes I think I have such a deficit for being able to plainly deal with things because of what was allowed growing up. I’m no longer looking for permission but I am looking for good practice in between the times of losing my mind.
I’m thinking about the people I would like to hang out with (as an agenda for how to direct my day and work) and also then thought
There may not be a perfect community but you can get along still and still enjoy life.
As my brilliant friend said ‘you can know who someone is and still love them.’
Maybe all this perfecting I tend to do has been a blindness due to my inconsideration of I actually like.
Knowing what you like and what keeps you happy certainly gives health.
I actually appreciated your reflections more than you might think. They didn’t read as confused, they read as someone catching themselves in real time.
What I heard was this: you noticed how much validation can matter to you, and instead of shaming yourself for it, you brought it into the light. That’s self-compassion in action. Not perfection, awareness.
The part about feeling weak but clear really stood out. Sometimes clarity comes with a little wobble. Owning your choices instead of reaching blindly for attention is growth. That’s not small.
When you wrote about not having been allowed to plainly deal with things growing up, that made a lot of sense. If permission to feel, speak, or sort things out wasn’t modeled early on, of course it feels like you’re building those muscles now. But you are building them. That’s obvious.
And I loved what you said at the end: “There may not be a perfect community but you can get along still and still enjoy life.”
That’s wisdom. That’s a softening of the perfection instinct. You don’t have to find the perfect people to have a good day. You just have to know what you like and move gently toward it.
You’re not behind. You’re practicing. And practice includes awkward drafts, technical wording, and posting three replies to your own journal while sorting yourself out. That’s not instability, that’s someone thinking honestly.
Keep developing the tools. You already are. Have a steady day, my friend....hugs
Thanks Bob!!