Second birthday after she's gone

In three days will be my Suzanne's birthday. The second since she's been gone. She would have been 53. Some people say the second year is harder than the first. I may have to agree. 
The first year you're still in shock. The second? Now you're thinking through things. Or more than likely over thinking. 
And in my typical fashion I think this birthday will be very hard on me because I think this birthday will be very hard on me. If you know what I mean.