Scratching

This may be kinda gross, but starting the begining of my junior year, I starting scratching my scalp. It began as me just scratching off scabs, but overtime it got to the point were I wouldnt let them heal and my head would start bleeding. I have groups of hairs shorter then the rest since the scratching causes some hair to fall out and I also have a problem of pulling on my hair.

Now I have two small scars/bald spots, one of which is a little over a centimeter. I also have developed a callous on my pointer finger from all the times I have pulled my hair around the scabs. It definetely is largely due to stress. Whenever I am doing something even remotely stressful I pick at them and I constantly obsess over them. I know it sounds weird but I think about the scars ofte, like what size they are, how it looks etc. It has gotten so bad that my hair naturally parts toward one of them and it is hard to put my hair up because it still shows.

It makes me very insecure about getting my hair cut and I worry about people noticing it. My bf is the only one who seen them but I haven't told him why I have them. In fact, I have never told anyone, and this is the first time I am really putting it out there.

I just want to stop. I want my hair to grow back and the scar to heal. It is just so hard for me to stop and the spots get worse and worse. But I am going to continue and trying and hopefully since school is over I will have less stress and pick at them less.