Scared shitless
I realy haven't felt like journaling lately so I haven't. I took my trazodone at 3am last night. Around 4:30 John woke me up because I was having tremors or shaking. It feels my heart stops then starts up again when this happens. It scares the shit out of me. So here I sit at 3:12am afraid to take my trazodone.
Part of me thinks the trazodone is causing this. My doctors all know I take it though. I wish there was something else that helped me sleep. I saw my new p doc yesterday. We decided I would just manage with trazodone and ambien as needed. I'm not sure I'm ok with that but I'll try it. I kept saying what if I have another breakdown. I told him I'm scared to not be on a mood stabilizer.
POTS is ruining my life. It's starting to affect other parts of my body. I saw the eye specialist this week and they suspect glaucoma. Yet another medical condition. They suspect the POTS is causing it. Something about the blood flow to my eyes. It is ruining me. I can't take the psyah meds I need because my body doesn't react right to them. I'm so sick of being angry.
Part of me thinks the trazodone is causing this. My doctors all know I take it though. I wish there was something else that helped me sleep. I saw my new p doc yesterday. We decided I would just manage with trazodone and ambien as needed. I'm not sure I'm ok with that but I'll try it. I kept saying what if I have another breakdown. I told him I'm scared to not be on a mood stabilizer.
POTS is ruining my life. It's starting to affect other parts of my body. I saw the eye specialist this week and they suspect glaucoma. Yet another medical condition. They suspect the POTS is causing it. Something about the blood flow to my eyes. It is ruining me. I can't take the psyah meds I need because my body doesn't react right to them. I'm so sick of being angry.
Replies
Red, I\'m so sorry. The palpitations and skipped beats or whatever they are (I get them too) can be utterly unnerving, and that doesn\'t end up helping anything. You have every reason to be angry, but I can appreciate that you are sick of feeling it all the time. I empathize with you, and I hope your bf is being supportive.
If I can help at all, please let me know.
(((hugs))) xoxo