Scared for this pregnancy..

*sigh*This morning I woke up, went to the bathroom and there was some blood on the toilet paper.  Of course that scared the crap out of me, because it's what happened with my last pregnancy. Except this time I'm bleeding earlier on. I also had mild cramping with it too and some tiny blood clots. I called my gyno and I talked to a nurse. I told her everything that was going on, including my concerns because of my last pregnancy. She told me to elevate my legs, drink plenty of fluids, and just rest because that's all they could do for me. Chas came over around 2 and took care of me though, so that was nice.I continued to bleed throughout the day, not heavy, but spotting...even now I still am. I got a call around 6:30 from one of my doctors that was on call. She told me that it could be implantation bleeding or even if it's just bleeding..I can go on to have a normal pregnancy. Then she told me that after my appointment on the 6th, that she wants me to go to the hospital to have a consultation for a high risk pregnancy. What they are most likely wanting to do to me is called a cerclage. It's where they put stitches in your cervix around 12-14 weeks since mine is too weak to stay closed during a pregnancy. She also said that they will be able to tell more of what went wrong with my pregnancy with Josh.  So I'm a nervous wreck. I've been being very careful with everything I do, eating right and healthy, not smoking!!! It's a bitch to not smoke haha, but SO worth it.I just hope everything goes okay.And to top it off I'm stressed about Chas. We talked the other day and I know that he wanted to go to Florida for college before I even got pregnant. Ok well, he still wants to go to Florida. And this is like not even that far away...August-ish. I'm going to be due in September. I asked him if he was going to be there when he/she was born and he said he'd try as hard as he could. That hurt a lot to be honest. And still being honest, I know he wants a good education, but things have changed now. He has obligations as well as I do. I want to talk to him about this, but I'm nervous too. I don't know if I'm being selfish or he is, or what. There are colleges around here that are just as good as in Florida. I guess I feel a sense of abandonment. Am I being crazy? I don't know. Blah I've been feeling so miserable...but this peppermint tea is a life saver lol. I also have another issue here. My support group that I go to for Josh, well I don't know if I should go to that anymore for the sake of the other women. Just because I know how hard it is being around other pregnant people. But it helps me so much to be there...so I don't know about that either.  ALSO, my grandpa is in the hospital, and they found a blood clot in his leg and he has some kind of diesease with his blood...they ruled out lukemia though. They don't know how much time he has left. It's breaking my heart so much because I love my grandpa so much. Tomorrow my mom and I are going to visit him. I'm going to have to call my doctor I guess to make sure that I can go...because I'm supposed to be in bed.But at the same time it could be the last time I see him.  Things are hard.