say what you want to satisfy yourself

hey you guys -I am thinking about you - I wanted to share these thoughts

which came about when I realized I build myself up and tear myself

Down so much of the time (uncontrollably tear myself down) and in getting my footing and confidence back I try

to find some moral imperative or idea to justify myself or to boost my morale. Perhaps that too is a vanity pursuit?

It's a humbling thought of what it means to be human.

It's a kind of leveler of thought that we are each like that here, seeking affirmation and footing,

at the monastery it also soothes and affirms me a great deal,

It reminds me of the lyric by the pop star MIKA "Say what you want to satisfy yourself."

I found myself questing to find who I am - so much of that journey has been written here

- and yet I have been here all the while - I either didn't see myself as alike to an other

and so or jsimply didn't accept and appreciate my own happiness.

I don’t have to be like someone else or some 'star' to love my life I don’t have to criticize or judge myself for not being something

spectacular - that just no negative talk

It brings me to this.

This life is so much fun I am so happy to be a part of it al with everybody....

I don’t want it to end!!