Saw the OM on Sunday...
So I drove to the beach with my youngest son and his friend from nextdoor in my topless Jeep. I love doing that when the Cali weather is warm and sunny. Anyway...
I'm driving to my favorite beach spots...looking at the surf and the beach for fun and cool stuff in the sun. I see a parking spot across the street (beachside) and make a U-turn to grab the spot. Well, well...parked two spots away is the infamous silver Ram truck that the OM drives. Wow! I've only seen pictures of this guy and once briefly in a bar 6 months ago kissing some young girl. But this time he was up close. He was with his 12 year old son. They were at the truck getting their surfboards out. So I pretended to be taking pictures of my son and his friend in my Jeep, but was really taking pictures of him/them.
When I had about a half dozen pics or so, I got in my Jeep and drove off. I couldn't help it, but I called my W with the news. She didn't think it was him until I sent her a picture of him. She got all flustered and told me to come home. I wanted to get in his face and introduce myself to the Bast___d. You see, he doesn't know I know about them. He thinks he/they got away with the A without the spouses knowing. But his son was with him and mine with me, so I did nothing. And apparently he didn't know who I was, so my W never showed him any pictures of me. Hmmmm.
For the rest of the day my W was apologizing for that. She said she/they wrecked my day and was very sorry. I really didn't, and still don't know how to react to what happened. This guy is a solid 9 if not a 10. Hawain, dark, buff, tatoos (my wife I thought hated tatoos), and all that. Granted he's only 5'-8" so I have one thing he doesn't - height. But everything else sucked!!
So now I'm in this funk and can't get out of it. Partially because my wife is now in a funk. I guess I blew it by saying anything and send her that picture. I hate it when I screw up like that.
What to do now?
I'm driving to my favorite beach spots...looking at the surf and the beach for fun and cool stuff in the sun. I see a parking spot across the street (beachside) and make a U-turn to grab the spot. Well, well...parked two spots away is the infamous silver Ram truck that the OM drives. Wow! I've only seen pictures of this guy and once briefly in a bar 6 months ago kissing some young girl. But this time he was up close. He was with his 12 year old son. They were at the truck getting their surfboards out. So I pretended to be taking pictures of my son and his friend in my Jeep, but was really taking pictures of him/them.
When I had about a half dozen pics or so, I got in my Jeep and drove off. I couldn't help it, but I called my W with the news. She didn't think it was him until I sent her a picture of him. She got all flustered and told me to come home. I wanted to get in his face and introduce myself to the Bast___d. You see, he doesn't know I know about them. He thinks he/they got away with the A without the spouses knowing. But his son was with him and mine with me, so I did nothing. And apparently he didn't know who I was, so my W never showed him any pictures of me. Hmmmm.
For the rest of the day my W was apologizing for that. She said she/they wrecked my day and was very sorry. I really didn't, and still don't know how to react to what happened. This guy is a solid 9 if not a 10. Hawain, dark, buff, tatoos (my wife I thought hated tatoos), and all that. Granted he's only 5'-8" so I have one thing he doesn't - height. But everything else sucked!!
So now I'm in this funk and can't get out of it. Partially because my wife is now in a funk. I guess I blew it by saying anything and send her that picture. I hate it when I screw up like that.
What to do now?
Replies
OH, I know how you feel...The OW was a freakin goddess. It\'s hard to see what you were up against and feel okay about yourself when they are so perfect looking. The only thing I truly know is that they are not perfect beyond the bodies... They have mental issues too I think. To be able to knowingly do something like they do and not feel remorse about it really. Or maybe they do, but just knowing alone that they are capable of this makes them a bit uglier. I am a very jealous person as it is, so when I saw a picture of the OW, I freaked even worse. I still cannot compete in my mind and I still don\'t think I won. Even though my H stays with me. He still won\'t touch me. All she had to do was ask for a lunch date and she got exactly what she wanted. So, I still live in my hell about the whole thing. I\'ve told him how I feel too, but it doesn\'t seem to help.
Well, I personally don\'t think you did anything wrong whatsoever! So what you got a few shots! I think that empowered you, that you knew something he did not! Good judgment call, avoiding conversation tho, due to the kids being present! Now that\'s a man, in my book!
Thank you both for your kind replies. Upsetstomach, I know how you feel with your spouse still not wanting to touch you. And I know part of it (for us at least) is because the OM was this hot Islander guy. The only thing I have on him is he\'s 5\'-8\" tall. I\'m 6\'-0\" tall. Ha!!! Four whole inches taller than him. It didn\'t stop my W from sleeping with him and thinking he was totally attractive. She\'s told me during our conversations that he was just that; \"HOT\". She wanted hot, and I was fat, so she went for it - plain and simple. WOW! Where does that leave me in all this. I\'ve lost 75lbs and am now lifting weights to get these arms bigger than the OM\'s in the pictures I now have. My W even said; \"You\'re now lifting so you\'ll be more buff than Brad huh?\" I said; \"Damn right! But it\'s for my self-esteme, not for your pleasure.\" Mean I know. But that\'s how I feel! I lost weight for me, and now I\'m going to beat this guy at the \"Hot\" game!!! Then we\'ll see what happens in bed!!!
Blondegal55 - THANK YOU!!! It\'s been a long time since anyone has said that I was a man for something I did - or didn\'t do! I don\'t even know know you and that really made my week. I\'m sorry, but those are things that I need in a relationship. The little compliments. The phrases that boost me up when I know I really can\'t compete physically (yet anyway). I tell my W that\'s the stuff I need right now. Reassurance that I am a man in her eyes. Attractive, strong, sexy, \"hot\" I guess. But if I\'m still not those things after getting into shape, then let me go. Don\'t cheat on me, let me go find this from someone else.
Thank you again!!!! That sooooo helped!! :o)
I feel since your W cheated and she apparently wants to reconcile, she needs to do the work to reassure you. Don\'t judge your looks by him. believe me, there are a lot better qualities in guys that aren\'t a 9 or 10!!! Guys like that are not what a girl wants....believe me!! I am serious. Can\'t believe your wife was stupid enough to go for someone like that. Their heads are way too big. Whatever changes you do....DO FOR YOU!
Work on resolving your emotions, otherwise they will eat you up inside.
They already are. I\'ve posted a blurry picture of the OM on my profile if you want to see him.