sat june 25. 2011 havnt been on for long time

well here i am. its been sence march sence i got on here. things are still the same . still fight ing w. son as ussually. he left for the night and its probly for the best. i get so mad and cannot calm down. wene is it my time to be happy? did go swimming 2 times this week yay, went to counsler, food pantry, and to see about my car. need new muffeler. thank god b/.f will be paying or i would be screwed which i am anyway of course son is broke allready. im so mad at him i cant see strait. been busy this week. need to start paying people back and i cant. need to get electic cigs but cant . am i ever going to have sucurity? im very depressed and shy lately. want to go to a group, but feel so shy. havnt been on here sence march. sleeping way too much. i think im lossing my mind. getting along w/ b.f. because im not telling him about alot of stuff so i dont have to heart it from him to.  know i screwed up w/ kids. they are soo spoiled and im just a great big enabeler. i dont know how not to be. i think ive gone insain for real. i just want to sleep and eat. very down. ok, maybve moore later