same day another entry

still more for who will listen... after khaely's birthday which was 20 november, and the celebration to day....   on 24 november, which is tomorrow, is jessy's seven months to her ANGEL DAY. she passed on 24 april 2008.  and the NEXT DAY, the 25th november, is her BIRTHDAY, she would have been 13. my dad, in the meantime, has had a rapid deterioration in his condition over the past few weeks - he has lewy body syndrome, which a severe and terminal type of  demential illness. his wife is taking him off to emigrate in february. my dad was a doctor, and helped me all the years with jessy. now it feels like i am losing him so quickly. not only that he is getting increasingly confused and unable to do things for himself, but that i, particulary, was so close to him, and if he DOES leave, i think i know deep down that i wont see him again. my brain knows this, but my heart cant even go there.  so both my sisters are coming here to SA in december, one i havent seen for a year, the other for SEVEN years.  they are coming to see my dad, as i believe, they too, want to say the good byes in a way. this almost seems sick!  it is just awful.  i am not ready to say good bye to my dad. and we decided that while my sisters are here, we are going to do jessy's tombstone, so last week i had to plan khaely's party AND do the design and wording for jessy's tombstone. how's that for "life carries on"!   and so my sisters will come in mid december, and we will spend time with my dad. and they will try to help me with khaely.  and probably on the 21st december, we are having the tombstone put up, and will have a ceremony. my dog, sheinie, who i am so close to, has really been different since jessy passed. she is a black labrador.  she is always been very attached to me. she is with me all the time. but since jessy passed she is sad. i can just see it, she is not the same. she is now even more attached to me. i guess i am feeling lots and lots of emotions.i feeling like i am saying good byes that i cannot face. and khaely sometimes in rational moments is saying she doesnt want to live anymore, its just too hard. she IS under a psychiatrist, and counselling, and everything, and constant efforts with meds. but i am just finished! your friend here is trying desperately to survive. even financially!! love jan jessy, i love you, last night my granny - who passed a few years ago - came to me last night in my dreams. i was driving in the car (i always felt she was distant from me and didnt love me that much). she was in a car driving past, and she looked at me, put her head out the window, and shouted "i love you, i love you!!",  and their car sped off as she waved excitedly to me, and i waved back and i said, "bye".  jessy, what is she saying? what does she mean? jessy are you okay? i love youyour mommy

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Oh my dear friend. I am not going to write words in the hope that I can make you feel better because everything I write will seem trite and I don\'t want to sound as if I am diminishing what is happening for you. All I can give you is my love and support from the other side of the world. I hope that writing it all out here helps in some way, but the intensity of what you are going through is beyond words. I think your granny was letting you know that you are loved and you are treasured at a time when you feel beside yourself. You are amazing and keep going through so much pain. I only wish you were here or I was there so I could give you a big hug and Khaely too. She is so lucky that you are her mother, that\'s all she needs for now. Speaking as a teacher of special needs, I\'d say keep her with people who love and understand her, academic education will come later, but she will not learn is she is unhappy and confused. You can keep her up with the basics and at age 11, that is fine. But also make sure you get some time for a break or you will crumble. I\'m amazed you\'ve kept it together for so long. Love and big hugs to you my darling friend. Charlotte. xox
deleted_user
deleted_user

oh hun.....i really wish i could help you....you need some help, i know that your getting some help with your daughter but it just doesnt sound like enough......its so sad everything that your going through and i hope that being with family soon will help.
i love that you call that day \'jessy\'s angel day\' i haven heard of that before and i think thats a great thing.....im always thinking of you jan....sending you lots of [[[hugs]]] positive thoughts and energy.....jann
deleted_user
deleted_user

Jan, I am so sorry that you are going through a really difficult time.It is so sad that the school expelled your daughter. Please don\'t let that school get away from this. Your daughter is feeling rejected and that is not a good thing and the school needs to know this. It has affected the way she feels about herself. I get so angry to know that especially a special needs school could do such an awful thing. My son Matt, had been rejected from a school and it was not his fault. He carried that hurt with him all the way until he passed.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Jan, sounds like you will be very busy. Remember one day at a time and do only what you can do. I\'m so sorry about your father. I hope that you can find some time to enjoy your sisters even under the circumstances. Here for you. Love Robin
deleted_user
deleted_user

i\'m so sorry you have to face all of this. i\'m praying for you and i\'m here for you that\'s really all i can do. love and hugs, meg