Same As Yesterday

I went to sleep earlier last night, but I still had anxiety when I woke up this morning. I had to have Geo hold me for a while for me to feel better. I don't know what's causing all this anxiety. I only feel safe in bed, and I don't want to take klonopin because I don't want to fall asleep. I need to look... I might be low on klonopin and might have to go to the clinic tomorrow to get some more. Tomorrow we are going to have the car, and we are going to go out to dinner. I've been craving Chinese food, and the buffet that we go to all the time has some new stuff that's awesome. I'm trying to save some calories today so I can splurge tomorrow. It sucks that I weigh on Saturday, but I think I'm going to wait until Sunday this week so I can get some of the salt out of my system. I've been drinking a lot of water... today I drank 10 cups, yesterday I drank 12, but I still know that I'm going to bloat with all the salt. The way to lose water weight is to drink water. Well, I've been drinking Crystal Light, but still, it's liquid. It's better than nothing.
Mood today was bad for the most part. I did have a bit of the day that was nice (my walk and working out and the subsequent shower) but for most of the day I spent in bed, feeling like crap. I don't know if I will be able to make it to work tomorrow. I don't know what time we are going to get the car... we have to go grocery shopping first. That's the reason we are getting the car. I don't want to go shopping after we eat... then I will feel bloated and not feel like walking around a store. I also have to get my mom's birthday card.... I don't know where I'm going to go for that. Probably CVS or something. I wish I could get my mom flowers, but there's no place that I've found yet that will deliver for less than $50 with the flowers included. Food today was okay... I'm under my calories, but I planned to be under so I have some breathing room tomorrow. I just don't know what I'm going to do with this anxiety... I hope it goes away so I can get some breathing room.... Every time I think I'm about to get better, something else hits me. I'm so glad I'm on disability and don't have to worry about making it to work... I don't know if I could this week. I need to do something to get my sleeping under control, but I don't know what. I keep sleeping more and more, and feeling like crap when I get less. I'm just falling apart.