Same as yesterday

Here's a Mother's day to remember.  I went to meet Billy and his family today at a place to eat.  Spent most of the time waiting for them to get there, and once the whole clan was there, i was left out again.  I was texting my best friend Valene, and she rescued me from the awkardness.  I was on the verge of tears when i left.  I just told Billy i'm going to go have a drink with her.  He said, ok? bye?.  Billy got a motorcycle and his whole family has them too.  Billy wont let me ride with him because he doesnt have the experience and i'm too heavy set its hard for someone to control the bike with someone big on the back.  So, here i am at home after having my margarita with Val and her mom, waiting on him left in the fucking dark as usual.  I wish he would at least think of me and not be up his family's ass all the time.  It's not my fault he doesnt have friends to hang out with.  That's his choice a little bit of openmindedness away from your family HELPS!!!! I'm miserable around them.  Absolutely miserable!!!! I'm getting more and more pushed away and he doesnt give a flying fuck!!!! They dont even talk to me.  Maybe 3 out of 10 of the people that were there talked to me.  Fuck this shit i dont need it.  IF its going to work i cant be around his family.  I cant do it.  I've never seen a more passionate kiss between cousins today either.  Trish and James (cousins) kissed each other on the lips like they hadnt seen each other in years.  And this pissed me off too.  Billy was hitting on his own cousin Trish too.  Said right in front of me, 'you're going to make my girlfriend jealous.'  Keep it in the family prick and go marry one of them.  I cant deal with this shit anymore!!!! It's torture! 

Replies

codependent
codependent

so i\'m goin to the doc tomorrow and dear God let them give me a higher dosage of Prozac!!!!
codependent
codependent

Had a crying spell on this day. When Billy got home he fell asleep. We didnt get to do anything together. I told him i guess i\'m always on the back burner right? and he replied, yes. I freaked out and started crying, drove to the nearest street where i could have a good cry and get away. Billy called me asap. I went back home, where he fell asleep again. But we went to dinner and a movie the next day. I went to the doc on monday and he could have given a shit less about me. I\'m giving him one more chance and if he up and leaves in the middle of our visit and doesnt return without telling me ANYTHING i\'m switching doctors. He did refer me to a psychiatrist though.