Sadness
I know, I know, I just entered a journal entry, but that was venting this is sadness that I can't seem to get rid of. You know everyone tells me that I shouldn't worry about having kids. That maybe I wasn't meant to have children or something. I just don't get it, I mean I get along with almost every kid I meet. I have a friend who has a daughter that everytime she sees me she calls me mommy. I get along great with my nieces and nephews. My one niece would like me to get custody of her or at least let her live with me. I just feel like I am never going to be a mom and that I am a piece of shit because of it. So, in addition to being fat and unattractive, I am also less of a woman because I can't (or have yet to have) any kids. Maybe god knew what he was doing when he made me. I mean who wants a fat and unattractive mom? Maybe it is best if I just shut up and hole myself up someone where so I don't bother people? I don't know, fuck I don't know what to think anymore.........
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