sad day.. pms??
Ok so I've been really sad for a couple of days... really sad. My boyfriend left yesterday to go back home after we had been together for almost 3 weeks. He only lives an hour and a half away but I work full time so can't see him as often as I'd like. I'm not always this emotional so I really think it just coincided with pms hitting. I was supposed to start my period almost 2 weeks ago but I am irregular when I'm stressed and I am VERY stressed this last few weeks. This makes it very difficult to pinpoint when pms might hit and if it is indeed pms. When he is here I don't give in to the sad feelings and stress because he is so uplifiting and positive... he lifts my spirits without even trying. But I can't depend on him for this... I need to get myself in a better mood. That's where I run into trouble. I feel like my life is out of my control. My boyfriend lives too far away, my work is an hour away in the opposite direction, my oldest daughter and her family (husband & 2 kids) are an hour in another direction. I am living with and financially supporting my 17 yr old daughter, her boyfriend and their baby. I have been divorced for over 4 years, my ex does not pay child support or help in any way. The baby's daddy has only a mom who just remarried a rich man but she is phsyco and even took back some of his Christmas presents because he left and came here to be with his girlfriend and baby. So she is certainly not going to help with his expenses. He should be getting work soon but has to go to school too so can only work part-time. I haven't paid any bills in 2 months and the creditors are starting to call. I also have 2 sons who are on their own, one is ok, working and in an apartment with some friends. The other is unemployed and trying to get his EI going but pretty much broke right now. Their father doesn't help them at all but neither of the boys keeps in touch with me (unless they need something) and that causes me more sadness. I am taking medication for depression but sometimes it just doesn't cut it... that's when I figure its pms kicking in and the medication just doesn't work on that. I hate this feeling so much. I don't want to do anything, not even go to work but I have to. I had worked from home for most of the last year but I have a new manager and I'm on a new team so I have to go to the office an hour away. I hate driving so far but I'm where I am so my daughter will be close to my family for support. Everything I do is for someone else. I just need me time... I'm always cleaning up after someone, driving someone somewhere, giving someone money... I just can't take it anymore and I don't see the way out. Even without pms my life is mess, PMS just makes it so much more difficult to deal with. HELP!!!!