Sad
This is the first journal on the new site. I don't see a way to increase the size so please use a magnifying glass or strong glasses if you wish to read.
I am not able to sleep right now. I went to bed and just began to cry. There are times when I miss Lisa so much - I miss our daily chats on the phone. Since she died, I rarely call my friends. I just get sad because I can't talk to Lisa. She helped me sort things out - she had a practical way of looking at things. She was the only one who had no trouble telling it like it is. I knew if she said my idea was crap, it was crap.
I spent a few days in Ottawa to see Cevyn. I stayed with Lisa's best friend and former boss. Well actually, they were colleagues as she was soon promoted from staff scheduler to admin assistant responsible for managing the office and she and Nancy ran the office together. They hired and fired together. Nancy kept telling me how smart Lisa was. We cried and laughed as we reminisced.
So now I sit, watching a chick flik on TV and remembering my funny, practical, complicated daughter.
Thanks for listening.
Lisa: Life is just hard without you. I miss you always and love you forever, Mummy
Replies
oh my dear friend..... feeling the same way.... my heart misses Morgan so..... funny I am not a phone person either,,,, I still wait for her to text or call.... I guess we will wait together.... love ya!
I understand with my whole heart. There are so many things I miss about our dear Josh. I so wish things could be the way we wanted them to be with all of our children by our sides! Wishing doesn't get me anywhere though. Lisa sounds like such a special lady. You must have been incredible parents! Sending love...
My heart sees and feels your heart and the deep longing over such a loss is a moment by moment living into just as you are. The spin cycles of grief and healing I call them and one never knows which cycle it might BE? May you be ever so gentle with yourself and know that I am missing Lisa with you. She sounds like my kind of woman, a truth teller, straight shooter and one I would choose to be with in a crisis situation and in the fun times too for so many reasons.
Enjoy that chick flick and when you come up for air know that you are surrounded in loving care and SO much understanding dearest Marlene. Gosh, it can feel exhausting at times, this path we find ourselves on.
Hand in hand, Heart to heart and I'm sending pinkish/orange skies to wrap around you in the sunrises and sunsets.
XO Joanie
I am so blessed to have kindred spirits; wonderful women who understand how I feel.
Lisa sounds like an amazing young lady! What a gift it must have been to have known her!! And you had the very best part, you got to be her mommy!!
Gentle hugs to you, my friend! xxx
My phone is still waiting for that call from Billy!!! We can always hope!
I understand Mike was in the kitchen with me, we talked about everything over cooking dinner. Like you I miss that social and real time spent with out child.
Don't worry about the size of your type it is
big when we read it.
tight hugs Penny
Your Lisa sounds so much like my Jennifer. I miss their honesty, sometimes bluntness and their ability to just know.....I'm crying with you but yet I know they have become fast friends trying to convince each other their idea is better. LOL
Sometimes I would give anything to just talk to her as I know you do too. Thinking about you and your Lisa tonite and I'm glad you made it here again....Hugs......Vicki
Oh Sweetheart!!! I so understand!!! Cassi was my best friend, and my favorite person. Even battling her own demons and trying to find her independence...I could call her anytime, about anything and she understood. I distinctly remember finding a bill for a $300 purse my husband had bought for his mother, who is very spoiled and has never had to work. I have always worked hard...but not to buy luxurious presents for my mother-in-law. Cassi and I both were suffering deep depression yet we both held down jobs we both hated, because, that's what adults do. So I called Cassi, sobbing. All I had to do was get out the first sentence and she completely understood and empathized with me. This happened so many times. We spoke the same language, we shared a heart, we were mother/daughter soul mates. No one can take her place. I SO VERY MUCH understand what you are saying. And I am sorry. And I love you.
I understand