Ryan's Birthday - Andrew's angel Day 3 days ago...

On Ryan's birthday the 8th of August, Erica's friends & Ryan's closest friends had a cookout at the park in our home town. When it gets dark they head down to the ocean where we scattered Ryan's ashes. They light candles and hang out and talk...I stayed home this year and let them do there tradition..I was ok with it this year. I got up in the morning, walked to his picture on the wall, which is perfectly close, face to face, so I can give him a kiss on his lips, and Wished him a happy birthday..I let the day fall into however God wanted it to be, it seem to work for me. I think the trip to Gatlinburg had something to do with my spiritual condition. I felt as though we had our time together up on the smokey mountains.. It was exactally like the name of our Chalet that the 10 of us stayed in, A "Touch of Heaven"... All of us Moms were on this winding road with around 6 Chalets stuck on the sides of the mountains...I had feelings of awe all weekend, not a worry in the world...It felt as though all our children were with us, peaceful & safe, as if they never left us...When I have a feeling of sadness, I remember the feeling of awe, being up in the mountains with our children...I think of Ryan and all the other Moms Children, are all still hanging out up there...I absolutely positively know they are there!!!!!!!!!!!
When Erica came home from celebrating Ryan's Birthday gathering, she walked in the house around 10 pm, before I could say anything she asked me if I remember Ryan & her friend Andrew. Not the Andrew I was thinking, the other Andrew who came over our house to visit us a year ago. I said yah, I remember talking with him, he was in the Airforce over in Iraq. Andrew was in the highest Rank, "a Ranger", which is extreme hard-core, the last to leave Iraq when everyone else has been deployed home. She said a bomb killed him that morning, he blood to death.. We were shocked...We could not believe it, I remember asking him if he was scared being over there.. He said "not at all, I love what I'm doing for our country". I told him I was proud of him..Then he said he was sorry for Ryan's death. They were friends, he'd been over our house with Ryan before..dah dah dah, and all.. Ryan had so many friends over, in and out of our house I couldn't remember who was who..
I had said to Erica, this is when we have to do Gods work, our purpose in life..Helping others through what we have already been through... God works through people, that to me is "God", "Helping others"!!!(working though others)..


I remember not to long ago somebody told Erica that this boy Andrew had died.. She found out later it was not him who died, it was someone else. It was a rumor going around, his sister had told Erica's friend it wasn't her brother Andrew, it was someone else... Erica had thought she dreamt that he died a while ago.. I said are you sure it wasn't that phone call you got from someone that he died back, when??? Erica looked at me wondering... The thing that I was stuned with, Erica said he died the day before Ryan's Birthday... When I read it in the paper yesterday, it said he died on sunday Aug 8th, in the morning....It was on Ryan's birthday, which is another one of those weird Coincidences......WOW HUH!!! SOOOOO SAD...Life just keeps going around... Love & Hugs to all of my sisters at heart...I can really say I love each and everyone of you.. I love you my friends, kelly
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

So sorry to hear my friend I hate when someone else joins our community I loved getting to know you and Erica I miss you and wish we lived closer love to you my friend
deleted_user
deleted_user

Ryan was there, welcoming his friend Andrew. It is such a thin line, that divides us. So sorry they had to leave so young. Hugs.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sorry for all of our losses and especially those who are fighting for our freedom in a foreign land. May you find peace and comfort in your memories of Ryan.
BinkyH
BinkyH

Kelly, I cried as I read your description of us and the kids up in the mountains and in our chalet. While we were there, I thought that surely our kids had to have been with us. How could they not, with so much collective love and sorrow. And memories and yes, even laughter and joy. And the butterflies, the prayers, the hugs, the tears. Wow. It was so awesome. I love you.
MartinsMom
MartinsMom

Kelly I am sorry for the loss of yoursons friend. I wish I had met you at the retreat