Have you ever felt like simply running away? I just want to put it on my credit card and fly somewhere abroad and simply letting go. I want to get more friends and work on this credit card situation. I think that would be amazing.. just get out of here. I don't want see something different be somewhere I don't have worries. I want to do more experience more. I want to be a college student again. I am so exhausted, it makes me want to just end it. The debt, no friends, so much worry suicide seems more like a release than something harmful. I think about it daily and it never escapes me. I can just take some pills... to many pills and fall into a deep sleep that I never come out of. It is just horrible. Horrible. My parents know that I buy new things and they don't realize that there is a major problem. I know that bipolar people spend a great deal of money but only I can see the statements. I have to do something I cant keep blaming this on the bipolar. I am trying to find a job but it is not working. I am not working and it's making me crazy. I volunteer so much and I just want a job. I don't know what else to say. This is what's really bothering me. I don't want to look at the bills and they pile up. I have perfect credit and now I am in so much debt! If you have suggestions please let me know, I am so desperate.