Rough times on Top of Rough Times...It Never Ends

This is my first entry and I really hope this helps b/c I have so much goin on that im being sooo weighed down.  This week and next week mark 3yrs since my nice was Murdered, butchered, mutilated and dismemebered.  Thats quite a mouth full right!  before this happened I was already dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder, anxiety, depression.  Now we add PTSD....my mom and I know all the details of what he did to my neice.  He did so much, and we ahve no idea why.  How could you do that to someone you said you loved, had 2 kids with.....like how does this shit happen.  You see these things on the news or read in the papers but never think it could happen to you.

SOmany other things in my life, my marriage, my dog is dying......he is my best friend, he got me thru soo many things.  and I dont know that I can survive that.  I keep teling everyone yeah Ill be ok, but truthfully.......I dont know if I will survive.