ROUGH, ROUGH, WEEK!!!

Sun. night, June 7:  It has been a really hard week!  Last Sunday, a co-worker/friend, killed himself.  He hung himself.  I struggle with the image.  He was only thirty-five.  I visited with him every day.  He was the coach of our school football team.  It was so hard to tell the kids on Monday.  His death opened up a whole can of anxiety, for me.  I think a lot of it has to do with Scott's angel date being so near, too. (June 17)  I have just felt sick to my stomach, sad, anxious, and all that "stuff".  I "feel" what his family is going through.  He was from St. Louis.  A memorial service was held for him, here, on Saturday.  He will be buried in St. Louis on Monday.  I could not go to the memorial.  It was just more than I can handle right now.  I did send a sympathy card, in care of the funeral home, to his family.  That is all I have to give, at this time.  It is just way too much!!! Thank Goodness our school year ended on June 3rd.  I need the break!  I do not have to go back, for anything, until August 17th.  YEA!  I intend, if the weather ever co-operates, to float in the pool, work in my, yet-to-be, planted garden, and do some cleaning.  Nothing too exciting.  That suits me just fine. Craig is now off three days a week.  I am glad for him.  For me, not so much.  I was really looking forward to having the entire work week to myself.  On the up-side, maybe we can use our camper more.  We haven't used it very much the past few years.  There are many beautiful, peaceful, places, that are not too far from me.  It won't cost much to go.  Good thing, because I got my finances all mixed up, somehow.  I am going to have to sit down and really go over things.  ICK! Oh!  I just re-read the above paragraph!  It is not that I don't want Craig to be around.  I do.  Sort of.  I think.  Really... We have just been having a difficult time getting along these days.  I just want time to sort through my feelings and thoughts.  With work it seems everything gets shoved to the back burner.  But, I will have four days a week for sorting/thinking.  Not so bad.... To anyone reading my journals, I want you to know, I read yours, too.  I just don't always comment.  However, you are always in my thoughts.  I so appreciate each and every one of you.  It is just shy of two years since I last saw my Scott.  If it wasn't for the strength, support, and wisdom of each and every one of you, I am not sure I would've made it.  At the very least, I know I would not still be typing.  Thank you. Peaceful Wishes!