Rough Evening.... to say the least ....

It started off as a smooth / good evening, so I was hopeful at first that it would stay that way. As it turned out I wasn't destined to have good luck this evening, since partway during the evening the smoke alarm started going off. It would have been bad enough if the smoke alarm would have gone off for maybe a few minutes, or so, and then stopped. But oh no... this damn thing had to start going off, and continue to go off for about twenty minutes, then it stopped for a very short while... but then it would start right up again ! It repeated this at least four times until finally the fire department came back - again - along with one of the apartment complex maint. guys, and stopped the smoke alarm from going off - for good ! Of course when I say they stopped it " for good ", I simply mean that they stopped it from going off for no good reason this evening, so everyone in the apartment building could have a restful / normal evening. 

During all of the " noise " that kept going off / on / off / on / over and over again, he decided to throw a raging fit about it ! He threatened to break a window in the leasing office, and to beat up two of the maint. guys the next time he sees them ! I didn't say a word to him while he was making those outrageous threats, because I didn't want him to think that I was " accepting " the threats in any shape / form / or fashion. Besides, if I had dared to say even two words to him while he was in the middle of that raging fit, he would have turned on me like an angry rattlesnake ! He would have surely started to blame ME for EVERYTHING even though that would be completely unwarranted, and unjustified ! Of course reasoning with him about it during his rage would have done no good at all, since he only sees " red ", and nothing else during those times ! 

Thankfully he went for a walk when he made the crazy threats that he did, and by the time he came back the smoke alarm had stopped a while earlier. Plus by the time he came back from his walk he was very much calmed down, thankfully. 

What he doesn't realize when he has a raging fit like he did - then go for a walk to calm down - is that I have no " walk " that I can do to clear my thoughts. I have no where to go, and with my knees I wouldn't be able to go for a walk anyway. So while he's calmed down, I'm still sitting here with a jumble of mixed emotions swirling in my mind, and no way to release them. With someone else, I would " talk " to them about things. With him, that would simply not work at all. This only leaves me to write out my thoughts. This outlet would be perfect if he would try to understand why I must do it. Even though we've known each other for many years now, he still looks at me in an " odd " way when I sit down to write out my thoughts. I can see in his face, and in his eyes, that he thinks that I'm writing out my thoughts for one purpose only... and none other... just to criticize, and put him down. What he needs to understand is that even if - and / or when - I write any sort of criticizm about him, it's only in the context of other key events that happened that day, and not solely just an attack on him. I love him, I really do. But just like any human, he has his faults. I hope that he remembers this fact about me too.