Root issue with Geo
I'm going to be a pincushion this week... today I got my Haldol shot, and if all goes well, then I'm going to get my depo shot tomorrow... so much drama with that... I've been calling for days to get my ride there, to get authorization for the shot, to make sure it's covered by insurance... it's crazy. My appointment is tomorrow around noon, and I have to call and confirm in the morning. Its so frustrating!
As for boundaries, I have a problem with them too. I have a tendency to call a person every day if I get their phone number (take that as a warning!) and I overwhelm people. I don't mean to, it's just that I want to hear someone talking to me (I don't talk much most of the time... if it's a new friendship I talk more, and if it's more mutual. As time goes on I talk less).
Geo and I had a big fight yesterday... I realized that I'm just band-aid-ing the problems we have. We get in a fight, I try and work on the one issue that made him mad this time, and then I do something else and it repeats. I need to work on the core issues- I don't think things through, and I don't listen to him. I don't know how to learn how to think things through... I have just always done what I think is right (even if it's not). An example of that is that we were taking the bus south yesterday. We were on 144th st, and the next stop is 152nd st. Every bus that passed didn't stop at our stop except one. The rest all stopped at 152nd st. So I suggested to Geo that we take that one bus to 152nd st and and catch a bus from there. He just went along with me, not really wanting to do it. Well, the bus turned off the busway at 152nd st and went a bit down another street, so we had to walk back to the busway. Then more buses come, and the one we were supposed to take comes, lets people off, and leaves without letting anyone on. Finally we get on the bus and he is pissed. I didn't remember that the bus we took turned, and he had to walk on his bad feet. The bus we wanted to take never showed up.... until we got off the (other) bus. If I had thought more about it, I would have remembered that that bus didn't stop on the busway and that it turned. But I didn't think things through and he was in more pain because of me. That's the kind of thing we fight over.
Sorry for the long rant... it's just one of those days.
Replies
I think the fighting and about the bus situation was an honest mistake. I know you do not purposely take the wrong bus to make Geo walk and inflict pain. Im sure he was upset but people are human and make mistakes so not something that you should be totally at fault for. Did he know the bus turned off? Did he just not say anything or did he not think it threw either? I just think that it was an honest mistake and he had some responsibility in this too and not just you.
Wow sounds like you have similar struggles as i do with insurance companies! The health care system in this country is seriously flawed. Im so sorry you have to go threw all that. It always triggers my anxiety anytime im dealin with insurance companies. Just remember you are your own best advocate and keep being assertive about what you need from them. I think half the time they make things a struggle in hopes that you will give up!
hi larissa, i also think you are not to blame, not one bit. we all make mistakes, geo included. i would find it very confusing with having to figure out the bus schedule. you did not do it on purpose and the fighting over that shouldnt happen, you are a wonderful loving and caring person esp with geo. i hope the insurance and the ride come through, all so frustrating, and anxiety ridden. hugs