room for nerves!

I am realizing that in the pursuit to be self responsible I have kind of shrunk my world to exist just in a pro forma of a tidy home and a job well done at work and keeping a tight budget and a routine of things that keeps me calm and placated. Predictable yes but I realized today at work that I want connect with people and not just live in this world of a pretty picture, hermetically apart. I loosened  up at work today and enjoyed my coworkers. Then while at home today, though keeping to a routine, the idea of connecting with others outside the comfort of my own home raises my anxiety level but I know now I have to be accepting and responsible for this too. And so copping to that might not take away the nerves but it does normalize them a little bit and so it makes space for me to be rightly so a little nervous and that's ok. I used to look to mental health doctors as someone to run to  - to complain to - someone to give me guidance - but after going to my last appointment, I realized I really need to give myself what I want in life and not just run to someone who can't give the answers that only I can give to myself.

Replies

SensitiveHoboLady
SensitiveHoboLady

I’m so glad to hear you’ve found a place! It’s probably an adjustment I’m sure, and maybe some days will be wonderful and others more challenging. But congratulations!

Have you met some neighbors? Invited anybody over for appetizers or tea? Baked cookies or banana bread (that’s not just for girls ya know)?

I really find cooking and baking and reading to be uplifting at home, especially on those more challenging days.

You sound like you’re doing great mark! So happy for you!
malibumark
malibumark

thanks Sensitive!