Rollercoaster of emotions
It's been nearly a month since my divorce went through and I'm glad she didn't show to the final hearing because I don't know how I would have taken that final goodbye. It's been 5 close to 6 months that we split and I've jumped back into the dating pool, I've talked to several women and gone out with one who I'm really attracted to. My friends say she's my rebound but I don't think so, considering I hadnt dated another woman in 10 years the date went very well and I look forward to seeing her again. I havent felt this kind of enjoyment in 6 months but this woman lives 3 hours away and has 2 kids making planning getting together a little difficult. I feel like a teenager again when she sends me a message and I get excited. I should be happy that I have a womans attention but at the end of the day I'm still sleeping alone and I get all melancholic and depressed, I dont know if its because I'm lonely or still missing the ex. I know I dont put much effort in thought of her but the feeling sneaks in unexpectedly! All I want is to be happy!
Replies
Glad to hear that you\'re doing better. Maybe this is a rebound - maybe it isn\'t. Does it matter? At the moment you feel good. And yes, there will still be times of depression, but that will slowly fade away. Take this is an opportunity to get to know yourself. Your wants and needs - getting comfortable with not relying on someone else to make you happy. A partner should compliment and contribute to your independence and sense of happiness - not complete it :)
Also, six months out, that isn\'t that long. Don\'t be surprised if the feelings of your lost love continue to wax and wane - 10 years doesn\'t just erase itself in six months (I\'m grappling with 20 years - and struggling with my own identity, sense of self and learning to be independent for the first time ever!).
If you\'re the reading type, I highly recommend \"The Journey from Abandonment\" by Susan Anderson - very insightful. And full of others experiences and how they regained their self confidence and discovered how they were sabotaging themselves and their relationship!
Finally, happiness will find you - when you stop looking for it :) Take care man.
I wish I was progressing like you.Its been 5 months since our split and it sure is a rollercoaster.I\'m also talking to a woman/neighbor. The difference is that I know for a fact she is a rebound.I want to go out on more dates, but at times I feel insecure and lost. I havent been single for 7 years, so everything can be overwhelming.It seems as if your doing very well,considering that you guys just split 6 months ago. I wish you the best bro!!