Rollercoaster Friday

Well, today was a rollercoaster......the beginning of the weekend is always difficult since I used to go to the casino on Saturday or Sunday... anyway, I found myself thinking and thinking about going and going over all of the reasons why I shouldn't even be thinking about it but it was happening.  I found that I was talking to a few people that don't realize the truth of my gambling addiction . . they just think of it as fun, like it used to be.  Anyway, I made an arrangement to meet up and go tomorrow at 10:00 with someone that wants to go but has noone to go with.  Can you imagine I was volunteering myself!!!!! Anyway, I went back to my office for a while and it kept eating away at me that I had actually made plans for a relapse!! What was wrong with me??  After a few hours, though, I walked back over to her office and I said I wasn't going to go; it's the wrong thing for me to be doing... so I came through unscathed... whew... I starting driving home, again having the urge, but I went to the grocery store instead and then straight home!!It was a close one...... taking it hour by hour tonight. smokeygirl