Rocky Start....

Why I thought it would have gone smoother than that, I don't know. I was hoping for a much better start to his " homecoming " than the way yesterday actually went. 

Everything was good until yesterday evening when he noticed the cig. butts on the ground outside our apt. door, and he flew " off the handle / off the scope " about it with the neighbors across the hallway. I was scared to death that a fight was going to break out any second, the way he was yelling at them, and the way they were yelling back at him. Plus I was terrified that the neighbors would call the cops on him for yelling at them about something he had no hard proof that they did, or not. I would have tried to explain this to him, but I knew that wouldn't have been a good idea. Trying to reason with him when he's already in a raging mood like that only serves to make it worse. Even a little later on when I tried to simply express how I had felt about the situation, and how scared I was about it, he told me to shut up about it because I was " pissing him off ". I told him... " Oh great !... Then I guess I'm the ' bad guy ' again... It's all my fault ?! "... He didn't say anything to that. I think he didn't say anything because he knew that he was wrong, and shouldn't have tried to blame his frustration about the cig butts on the ground, on me ! 

Thankfully the cops never showed up.... so I'm assuming that they were never called, or we would have had a knock at the door last night. Hopefully " ALSO " the neighbors DID NOT call the Resident Services phone number last night, and lodge a Resident Complaint against up for the yelling match / argument. IF... and I'm hoping and praying it's a BIG IF... they did, then I'm prepared to explain to the Resident Services office that it was simply a BIG misunderstanding, and that my " friend " had had a very hard / long / tiring day already, and seeing the cig. butts on the ground just outside the door - was the " last straw " to a hard day..... since he likes to help keep everything neat, and clean.... and hates to ever see " trash " laying around ! I know he's like that, and I can't blame him when he's had to put up with living in some " terrible " conditions in his past. Plus it's a small part of why I love him very much - how much he really cares about keeping the apartment neat, and clean. 

Right now he's taking a nap. It's about 1:30 pm Tuesday - Sept. 4 th - in the afternoon. It's understandable that he needed a nap after going out to do some shopping at Walmart this morning. Plus having to stand around waiting for the taxi cab to show up didn't help things at all. 

My biggest Fear / Frustration right now is knowing that Crystal feels it's " okay " to call his cell phone nearly EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAY it seems !!!!!

This wouldn't be " quite " as bad IF she hadn't believed that she was engaged to him, before he left to come back down here. Plus the way she went as far as taking his ring.... makes it even worse !!!! .... because now I can't help wonder... " IF Tim's gf hadn't gotten into a lot of arguements with him, would he have stayed up there ? ... Him, Crystal, Tim - and Tim's Gf ? " .... Would he had WANTED to stay there with them ????? 

I DON'T want to think that he ONLY came back down here to me in Florida because Tim and his Gf kicked him out, and he had nowhere else to go. Hypothetically, ... IF he had had another friend in Columbus, Ohio would he had STAYED in that city ?!?!

OR would he had still come back to Me... because he TRULY loves me, and WANTS to be with me ?!?!?!?!

So many damn questions swirling around in my thoughts... it's driving me NUTS !!!!!

The biggest CATCH to ALL of this is that I know deep down that straight out asking him about ANY of this, will NOT work ! 

Asking him directly about ANY of it would ONLY serve to stir up un-neccessary arguements that I do NOT want ! 

WHAT to do then ???? WHAT to do ???? 

I suppose the only thing I can really do is to allow TIME to show me his TRUE INTENTIONS.... IS he truly with me now because he TRULY LOVES ME, OR did he ONLY come back " temporarily " yet AGAIN because he had nowhere else to go ... and his heart belongs to someone else - mainly Crystal, since she calls him nearly every single day !?!

Yesterday he started telling me that he would not pay on his cell phone this month so that he'd " get rid of it ", and replace it later on - as soon as he's able to... ultimately ending up with a DIFFERENT CELL PHONE NUMBER !!!! 

BUT... now I can't help but wonder if he ONLY said that because he thought it was something I wanted to hear ! 

Does he really think I'm that stupid ?????

Does he really think I can't see when he's only trying to " blow smoke up my ass " ?!?!?! 

That's what I wonder if his " talk " about his cell phone was all about. He said all of those things only to calm me down, and get me to stop asking him questions about his possible " continued " connection to Crystal ! 

He told me yesterday evening that the one time - ( or it might have been twice, I don't know ) - that he talked to Crystal on his cell phone that he told her off, and told her that she's way too much like " Cyndi " - one of his former ex-gfs that never stood up for him, as well as did " other " b.s. things to him too. I just hope that he really stuck to telling her off, and made it clear that he does NOT want ANYTHING to do with her anymore ! 

I will NOT share him with Crystal ! 

I deserve WAY better than that ! 

I DO NOT WANT THAT ! 

GOD PLEASE.... PLEASE get Crystal to STOP calling His cell phone ! PLEASE ???????